Life through the lenses.....

Intruder and Idiots

2006-05-28T16:19:00.000+08:00

Someone broke into my flat on Friday evening and strangely, it wasn't chased away and in fact my parents was very happy. How come? Well, when I got home after work on Friday afternoon, I immediately rushed to the toilet to do my business. Honestly, nothing beats doing it in the comfort of your home's toilet because sometimes, public toilets are just downright disgusting. Dirty, smelly, floor filled with urine and lack of toilet paper. Arrgh. I would know better because I dread using the toilet at the shopping mall of my workplace. Can't people treat public loos like their ones at home? It would make going to the toilet a more pleasant experience. Anyway, back to the point....

While I was about to finish, I heard a sound. A very LOUD chirping. It was as if there was a bird in the toilet with me. But the thing is, we don't have any pets at all so what was the deal with it? I looked around and found the source of the voice at the corner hiding.

Yes, it's the mynah commonly seen around. My first thought was where did it pop out from and why did it chose to come, of all places, the toilet of my flat? I asked my mum about it and she told me it somehow flew into our flat via the kitchen's window and then straight to the toilet, staying there for hours. My mum also noticed it's parents at the window ledge chirping and searching for him. My parents did not want to chase it away because they believe it's arrival would bring them luck because it is not everyday you get such a visitor. What pure superstitious rubbish I thought. I mean won't they feel one bit awkward that when they are pissing, there is a pair of eyes staring at your private parts? No?

Strangely, it prefers to hide in a corner and not do anything. When I walked in to offer some clean water and some small chunks of apple on a plate, it backed off away from it. Maybe it is shy. I do not know why the mynah did not want to leave. Are it's wings injured or did it grew to like the toilet so much that it decided to stay for good? I have no answer to that question but it just stayed there throughout the night. When I woke up early for work the next day, I went to checked if it was still there. Yeap. It was, with a lot of free gifts in the form of droppings.

Saturday evening. Ater a long day at work, I just want to get home quickly and take a damn bath. Taking the train on weekends is a bitch as it's just crowded. So I prefer to take the bus even though it might take me a little longer to reach home. But at least I might get a seat.

As I was about to cross the road, I noticed my bus coming but the damn lights were still green. I prayed that the people boarding the bus would delay it a little until the lights turned red. What luck, the lights did in fact turned red and I quickly ran across the road and flagged down the bus. That bloody driver just waved me off with a snotty look on his face. It was not as if the bus was packed. So I just have to say Fuck you Mr Bus Driver.

I just stood there like a fool as the bus left. There was another alternate bus service I could take and within a few minutes, it came. As the crowd filled the bus along the journey, I pressed the bell to drop off at my stop. The people are just like statues. They can hardly move to let me through to the exit even though I already muttered excuse me. I just had to push my way through like what every rude Singaporean is good at.

The best thing is there was an eldery man sitting on the steps of the exit blocking my way. I am serious. If he wasn't as old as my grandfather, I would had kicked him down the steps. I don't blame him though. I can only point a finger at those people who did not give up their seat to him. He would not had sat there if there was one considerate person. As he stood up, I was expecting the doors to open. No it did not. I was already impatient and pressed the bell again. Hello??? Is the driver asleep? I was still standing there with so many people staring at me. It was only when I pressed it for the 3rd time then the doors to my escape from the bus ride from hell was over. World class transport my foot. To think they are planning to raise the bus fares again.

It is incidents like these that I wished I had a car. Really.

Ohhh...the mynah is gone when I got home after work yesterday. My mum told me it left when she woke up in the morning at 10am. Now she better hope that it does indeed bring her luck for the 4D tonight. Haha.

Broken free...almost...

2006-05-24T00:31:00.000+08:00

It's not a big secret that I dislike my job more and more as each day passes. It's a small miracle that I have been working for 1.5 months now when in fact I really got tired of it and felt like quitting 1 month into it. I mean, why bother to stay on on something you dislike and make yourself unhappy? But still I decided to stay on. The question is why am I unhappy? Mainly because of the long working hours and crappy starting time. There's no fixed salary as the system here is the more hours you work, the more you are paid.

For a miserable hourly pay, they expect us to do almost everything. Like wiping and clearing the tables, serving food, washing the dishes and teabags, throw rubbish, lock the tables, get the stock from the storeroom etc etc. Bloody hell, sometimes I think I'm underpaid. When I told my football kaki in the army about the job I'm holding, he raised his eyebrow and laughed at me. He said I should had asked for a higher pay considering that I've graduated. He used to work in a IT company for a few months drawing quite a respectable sum, though not as much as $1800. *Cough*. His boss quoted him a low pay but he insisted he deserved more as he's a poly grad and guess what? He got what he wanted. But of course, he could had do this because he was enlisted in September last time. Much more time than what I have. I mean who would want to employ someone who can only work for 2 months plus or so? Not many.

The real reasons why I stayed on are because ...

1) During the interview, I said I could be able to commit until the 1st week of June to the boss. So a promise is a promise, I would stick to it. I would had felt really guilty if I quit before that. But weeks after I started working, I realized I shouldn't had said that because I am just bloody tired almost after each working day. That is not what I had in mind. I only wanted a relaxing and easy job. A typical day for me would require me to wake up at 6am, reach at 7 and then work to 5pm or sometimes till 10pm if I had to cover for someone in the afternoon shift. But when the manager noticed that I wasn't really that keen on working like a dog, they managed to cut my working hours. Last week, they managed to employ a full timer and so I have a considerably lighter schedule now. Mostly just 5 or 6 hours and then I can go home. I like this arrangement better but still it doesn't hide the fact that I won't want to work till June. I need to rest and chill out before enlistment.

I told my manager last Friday that I would be quitting next Wednesday(today). But he said I cannot do that as I had to consult the boss and have to give two weeks advance notice. He then asked me to work till this week ended. I reluctantly agreed, feeling a little upset by that also. Oh come on, I might come somewhat late every morning but you can't deny the fact that so many times I agreed to cover so many other people's shift and work more than I was supposed to without much hesistation. Even when I said Sunday would be my preferred off day because I have to play football, sometimes I still agree to your request to work on that day just because you sound kind of desperate and asked in a begging tone. Where can you find such an ~~idiot~~ accommodating employee like me? Yet a simple request like that and you have to beat around the bush.

2) I had grown to like working with some of my colleagues. Especially those on the night shift. But unfortunately, they always slot me to work in the mornings because they lack people in there. Most of my colleagues are poly students part timers so mornings are out of question to them. Overall, everyone doesn't treat me that bad. Just that when people treat you good, you have this thinking that you had better work harder to deserve that treatment.

I don't like to lie. Never had and never will. When I say something untrue, I would felt horrible and guilty after that. But sometimes, some people just force me to do this. Since my manager told me to consult my boss if I could quit by this week, I had to come up with a credible excuse so as to make it believable. If I told them I wanted to quit because I want to rest for army, they probably won't allowed it because they would surely bring up the promise I made last time that I could work till the first week of June. So I had to lie and tell her I had to visit my sick aunt for a week in Malaysia blah blah blah. I also had to emphasis the point that I was returning back next Friday morning.

I expected her to get the hint that I would be quitting and not coming back ever. But unfortunately no, she didn't got it. She is persistent all right, asking if I could work Friday afternoon or the weekends and till the days before I enlist. My god, she really can't bear to let me go. Sheesh. Being the model employee, of course I agreed to her request and do her one last favour to work 1 more day before I kiss goodbye. Next Saturday would be my final day. I won't miss the place.

Goofs and Cock ups...

2006-05-14T00:38:00.000+08:00

Leaving school probably made me an idiot because I feel kind of retarded. I just realized it these past two days.

1) Normally, I would be awoke by 6+am to go work. On Vesak Day, I woke up at 7+ in the morning. I panicked when I saw the alarm clock and then quickly got my arse off my bed. I was thinking oh no, I overslept again. I was cursing all the way while I was changing. Then I remembered I was given the day off. I went back to my bed and continued back to sleep. Sheesh.

2) Later in the afternoon, met my friend to watch MI3 at the new Cathay Cineplex but as it was raining, we walked to PS. In the end, we ended up watching it at a neighbourhood cinema anyway, after looking at the horrendous queues at GV PS and Lido. I looked into my wallet ready to pay and then there was not a single note in it. Then I realized I forgot to bring my money along before I left home. It was a tad embarassing when the counter lady stared at me fumbling in my pockets for cash. Bleh. They ought to implement payment by NETS for such situations.

3) I have been wanting to bring my phone to the service centre to fix the annoying sensitive joystick problem I have been experiencing for a few weeks now. I managed to find the warranty card, which was the good thing. But the bad thing is I couldn't find my receipt. This is important because they stated that if you want them to service your phone, you need the original proof of purchase. I think I might had happily threw the receipt away the last time without even knowing. ARRGH!!!! Guess now I have to go back to the shop where I bought the phone and get them to give me their duplicate receipt, if they have it that is.

4) Happened to met my classmates along Orchard. Went for some caffeine and talk cock session with one till the early morning. After that, we took the Nightrider home as I still had to wake up a few hours later for work. I could see that my bus was coming from a distance thus I flagged it down expecting it to stop for me but then I slightly glanced back to the seat to check if I had left anything behind. When I turned back, the bus had already dashed past me and I had to wait for almost 1/2 hour for the next bus. Bloody hell.

5) I only realized I forgot to pay my friend for the mocha I had after I got off from work today. I am not one to take advantage of others or be seen as a cheapskate but that was pretty absent minded of me. Oops.

6) I casually asked for the phone number of Miss TP after I got off from work because I was quitting soon and also my schedule seems like I won't ever be working along side with her nor have the chance to meet her at all. She muttered some digits and then I pressed it down on my phone but I did not saved it. When I got to the toilet to change my stinky work clothes, I accidentally press the cancel button and so the number which I had pressed just now disappeared from the screen. Oh bollocks, what was the number again?? I just somehow repeated the digits in my mind and saved it this time. But I am not exactly sure if it was the same one as she gave me. Damn. I should had went back and asked again.

All these are so silly that I laugh when I think of it. I can't imagine how bad it would be when I get into army.

*As I am finishing up on this post, I felt a strong sense of deja vu as I stared at the telly. It was just like last year in Istanbul all over again. I think older Liverpool fans with a weak heart might not be able to take all this kind of comebacks in the finals in the future. A great game for the neutrals regardless*

Boring and Predictable

2006-05-07T00:57:00.000+08:00

Typical words to describe the elections results. Same old results like last time round. YAWN. Of course everyone knows who would win overall in the end but it would had been better if a few Men-In-White lost. I don't claim to know much about politics nor did I had the time and energy to follow the news due to being half died from work but when you have such an overwhelming of the same party controlling the government, it just doesn't sound or look good.

Simple reason is no one would oppose the increases and all the policies etc etc because when you have 82 out of 84 of your own party's people in the government, of course there is no way the parliament would say no to what they would be introducing. So I guess we would expect more increases and a lot of other crap the next 5 years. Hurray for that! As if the bus fare, ERP, COE and all that isn't high enough already. Like everyone knows, the only thing that increases is the cost of living and not your salary. Noticed they won with an overall 66.6%? Is it a sign of things to come? Regardless, I fear for the future now already.

Sure, I just had the chance to vote for the first time ever but it didn't matter because it was a walkover in my area. But from what I heard from my colleagues and customers all week, they don't really totally agree to what the government is doing. Somehow, they lean to an alternative voice. Singaporeans are weird. I say this because looking at the massive crowds at the opposition rallies, you might had think they would support and vote for them in the end. But the truth is, they would still go for the tried and trusted choice in the end. They fear changes and prefer familiarity but inside they complain about the government. Still in the end, they don't dare to voice out and make a difference by exercising their voting power and giving it to the opposition. Maybe. Except if you're from Potong Pasir and Hougang, who have the balls to stand up against the government and wave away all the upgrading tactics promised to them by the Men-In-White.

I was only interested how the results would come out in Potong Pasir simply because it's just a bridge away and some bus stops away from where I live. I thought that old guy would finally lose out but he won again! And even managed to improve his winning percentage by a little. I could hear cheers and clappings around my block when the results came out on the telly. I clapped a little too because I think he's quite worthy. Hougang area was a foregone conculsion because that Hammer guy is very strong. I already thought no fight lah as even the kopi uncle assured me he sure win. He won by such a big margin, looks like those people at Hougang really likes him. The only surprising result to me was the Aljunied GRC as those Hammer group got quite a huge percentage even though they lost. All week long, those Men-In-White kept on targeting the same guy for so many days just for one silly mistake. Even people would get bored and annoyed by this tactic lor. That's probably why they got many votes as usual maybe?

Anyway, life goes on. We the small and powerless citizens will still continue to get screwed either way. Time to sleep after a long day. Zzzzz.....

Sunday update: *Stupid Men-In-White in lorries whizzed past my area waving and thanking us through their loudspeaker. Early in the morning do this kind of thing, people like me are still sleeping ok? I flashed a middle finger at them from my window. They probably didn't see it. God, what's to brag and make noise about when it's a damn walkover? Sheesh, give me a break*

Work, Whine and Laughs

2006-05-05T19:45:00.000+08:00

Working in the morning shift is somewhat tedious because I have to wake up at 6 and reach at 7. Given a choice, I would rather work in the afternoon one but well, since I'm like the replacement for two other FT staff who had left, I am about their only few options I guess. So nowadays I work like 5 or 6 days 10 hours shift straight(sometimes 15 if I have to cover some guy's arse in the afternoon shift), which is what I won't want. I hope they employ one more person (they are in fact but haven't approve work permit) to lessen my workload because I would had rather prefer to work like 4 or 5 days week and oh, some afternoon shift please!

I seriously don't want to carry on like a hardcore workaholic until I enlist. In the perfect world, I had rather work when I feel like and still get enough rest time to do other stuffs at home. But of course, this would never ever happen and I cannot complain about this. I don't really like to work in the morning to be honest as I STILL sleep late and arrive at work feeling tired and listless almost everytime. I am NEVER a morning person and feel slightly grumpy when I do not have enough sleep. They all know how I am like when I am like that and had told me many times to sleep early but the problem is I can't no matter how I tried. It's a bad habit that has been developed since the attachment ended. Thrice already, I overslept and arrived late but amazingly, I have not been given the boot yet. It's probably because they can't find anyone ~~stupid~~ willing enough to wake up for morning shift. I can roughly half guess that the morning shift kitchen people probably don't really like me but have to tolerate with it until they get another person.

Afternoon shift is great because the working hours are shorter and I prefer the kitchen staffs better. Maybe it's because they are less whiny, more friendly and love to joke around. I don't really talk much to most of the people there except for a few here and there because most of the time, I feel a little tired and it's like we don't have any common interests. Still sometimes, they make me laugh intentionally or unintentionally.

1) I get called "Daniel"(another of my colleague) three times by different senior colleagues in the space of a few hours in the morning. I also cannot understand why. Damn, I knew it long ago I was not their favourite and this confirmed it. :( Except for being male and around the same age, I don't see any resemblance between me and him.

2) Night Shift Auntie HAD NEVER got my name right even though I have worked for like a month now. She calls me Yen, Rodney and a lot of other weird names. I repeated a few times my name but she probably can't remember it. So I just laugh and assure her she can call me whatever she liked. I won't get pissed because she's one of the nicest staff around there.

3) Some idiot got sacked in the stupidest way ever. It was surprising to me as because this Uni student from China had only worked like a few days. Manager told me the customer was sitting down waiting for the food to be served. Then the China dude was all ready to pass him the food when suddenly the customer switched seats. He moved to the next table and this got China dude angry a bit and he muttered "Shit" in front of the customer. It was not directed at the customer but of course, the customer thought otherwise and made a complaint and he was history.

Yes, there are some female staff that are around my age. But I only talk to maybe a handful. The one I talk to the most is Miss TP. It was my first week and I was still a newbie and didn't knew anyone. Then I saw a familiar figure walking in to start the afternoon shift. I was a little surprised because I swore I had seen her before so I asked her how many days she had worked so far and she said two. Then I remembered where I saw her, she was in front of me when she got interviewed by my boss. So I asked her if she did came down with her friend that day. She confirmed my assumptions and I was glad to know someone finally.

Whenever she report in late for work, I would tease her "Or hor, late again". I would do it everytime and last weekend when she came early, I still said "Or hor". But she retorted back "I am not late leh, I was early". I just replied: "Eh, I know but I only say OR HOR mah, doesn't mean anything. Why so worked up for nothing?". I laughed like an idiot and she made a >_<>

4) After work, we walked to the MRT station. She asked me which poly I studied. I don't like to give obvious answers so I told her to guess.

"One of the polys in Clementi"
"Let's see, my poly TP, Republic in Woodlands, Nangyang I dunno where and..."
"NYP in AMK, Yio Chu Kang lah, wah lau eh"
"Hmmm....oh. I know liao. Then must be Singapore ah?"
"No lah, you almost got it but I'm from SP's good cousin at the other side of Clementi, near Bukit Timah lah"

I thought this was pretty obvious already but what the hell...

"OHHHH!!!! ITE IS IT?"

¬_¬ Nothing more I can say about her.

5)
"What course you study in poly ah?"
"Golf course lor!"

Then I laughed like an idiot. She shot me a "I really buay tahan you" look.

"You huh, very lame leh and laugh very horribly. I don't want to talk with you liao. No meaning at all and made me more tired"
"Like that better what. Then you would sleep easier when you reach home. In fact, you should thank me for that leh"
"Hah Hah. Like real eh so where do you live?"

I thought for a while and acted stupid again...

"Palau Ubin"

I can see her face really like want to whack me already.

"You huh, not funny lor...just say lah."
"Ok, make a guess again. HDB Hub. I give big clue liao"
"Hmmm...HDB Hub ah? Where is it ah? I dunno leh"

¬_¬ I slapped my forehead and gave up.

"I really suspect you are not Singaporean lah, everything also dunno."

It's very ironic that later when I took the train home with a new Chinese colleague and I asked her the same question and she could answer me. A FOREIGNER KNOWS BETTER THAN A LOCAL??? Oh well, Miss TP really is one hopeless blurcock but I love it. Makes it so much easier and funnier to tease and joke around with. :)

Originally before I started work, I wanted to work until the week before I get enlisted. But now, after experiencing so much BS, standing on the feet for more than half of the day, being tired for most of the time and clearing endless leftovers and dirty crap, I think I have had enough. I have decided to stop 2 weeks before enlistment. Partly because of what someone said to me. Well, I went to get my geeky and ugly army glasses after work today. Thursday I worked 14+ hours till closing and then woke up few hours later and worked 10 more hours today.

When the optician lady asked me if I was working tomorrow on Voting Day, I said yes. She was surprised and told me why should I slog so hard especially now when I do not have much time left to enjoy? After sonme thoughts, she is right. I don't really work for the money or whatever. I work just to pass time. Why should I be so accomdating to my employers anyway? So I guess I would have to inform them of my new departure date and also to apply some holidays to watch football. If they don't allow, then I just quit then. Simple as that.

This song has a special meaning to me...

2006-05-01T03:41:00.000+08:00

First came across the song on streaming radio last year. I used to hate it whenever they played this as the voice was weird but upon repeated hearings, I grew to love it because it never fails to make me want to stand up and dance like an idiot. That is how a good song should be. I wondered who was behind this song and what a surprise, it's Daniel Bedingfield, THAT guy behind "If You're Not The One". He sounds so different on both songs.

In fact, a couple of times when it randomly played on my iPod when I was on the bus, I just lost myself and moved to the beat in my seat without a care in the world. Those people in their vehicles beside me stared at me when the traffic lights turned red but I wasn't bothered with them. Of course, I only did this when there are not many people on the bus. Since I liked the song that much, I went to find out the history of it and it had a very interesting story indeed.

1) He recorded "Gotta Get Through This" in his bedroom with only a microphone and computer.

2) The inspiration behind the song was a red haired Swiss-American dancer who lived in Leeds, England. Daniel had fallen in love with her, but avoided telling her for two and a half years. He was walking in London's Tower Bridge and he was upset that the distance prevented him from pursuing her. It was this frustration, tension and desperation to see this girl that he wrote the song. He got the girl in the end.

3) He send the demo of the song to a few record companies in London but they didn't liked it. So he decided to make it into a single and send it to three DJs as a last ditch solution. In the end one famous DJ picked it up, included in his album and spread the song to the underground garage scene. The song then somehow ended up Number #1 on the UK music charts in 2oo1. People wondered who the guy was behind the song and in the end, he did become a singer when a record company signed him on after this incident. He released his debut album after that and of course the song is included inside. What a fairy tale ending.

And yes Natasha Bedingfield is his sister, if you haven't knew by now.

This part of the lyrics perfectly described what I was trying hard to do for weeks now. Trying to move on from the experience.


If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
God, God, gotta help me get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I'm gonna get through this
I'm gotta get through this
I gotta take, gotta take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay

Throughout the whole time which I felt really low, I had it on repeat and listened to it everyday for hours till I got sick of it. Nevertheless, this is a great track to groove to in clubs. If this came on, I think I would go crazy and danced myself silly.

Actually I could had stay at home and rot until June but it's not very good in the sense that I will do nothing but just keep on thinking and thinking about that matter. People around ask me why I should bothered to work when I only had so little time left to enjoy my civilian life. I tell them the most honest reason is because I am bloody bored waiting for NS at home. That's only half the truth. The real reason is I just had to find a job and work to keep myself busy and not brood too much about the matter. It does somewhat works...until I get home and alone in my room and all the thoughts come back in my mind. Sheeesh.

But as each day passes, I think I can gradually accept the fact that it wasn't meant to be. I had pretty much got over it, but not the person totally though. I am not sure why about the latter but maybe it's because this was the first time I ever took action instead of just keeping quiet inside as I usually do. You would had never bet on me mustering the courage to go up to even talk to someone I might had fancied few years back seriously. Though it didn't worked out in the end, it's quite amazing to me now that I actually tried to do(keyword "tried" but didn't execute in the end) quite a few things for her. Another thing is though I said I didn't cared anymore, that is not really how I felt inside. I still cared about her well being but not to a greater extent as in the past. I always want to know that my friends are doing well and getting on fine.

After many sleepless nights, I figured the problem lies with me and not that "It's not you but me" reason which she gave. She probably just said that to make me felt better. I pretty much knew I am not good enough in many ways and I am not fit to be in a relationship. One thing I found annoying was those friends of mine kept consoling me by saying that I'm a great guy and all that feel good rubbish. People always lie in order to make you feel less hurt. Oh come on, give me a break. The truth is hard to take but look at me, I still manage to somehow came through after a few setbacks in the past. The moral of the whole story is I got to change and improve myself in order to appear desirable. But that would take time.

And oh thank you Mr Bedingfield, I did got through this.

Hopes and Dreams

2006-04-23T15:30:00.001+08:00

The chalet gathering made me realized one thing dearly. That is the carefree days of the past are over. Now it's time to enter into next step of life, adulthood. As I listened in to my classmates discussing about their future plans, I felt somewhat lost in my own thoughts because I have no clue at all. There they are already having an idea what they intend to do and yet I am seriously still undecided. It's just like standing in the middle of a crossroad junction and not knowing which route to take next.

The typical Singaporean education route would be to make it to a university at least. But of course not everyone is like the brilliant top student who is already guranteed a place in any of the top two local unis. I think that going to a uni doesn't necessary mean that one would be successful or earn big bucks in the future but unfortunately this is Singapore, where paper qualifications are highly looked upon. So well, life's like that, people will continue to judge you on a piece of paper like it or not. For the others like us, it's either to enter the army, the workforce or to continue to do private studies. But what next after the two years?

Honestly, I didn't forsee myself in this situation now. What I had thought I would be achieving when I was younger is totally different from what had happened now. Yes, I might had graduated with an expensive piece of toilet paper called the diploma but so did many other people and perhaps they actually had passion and enjoyed what they had learnt or studied, which is what I didn't possess. This might sound laughable but I had actually had ambitions of making it to a JC back then. Maybe it's because I believed too much into a few of my teachers and friends. They kept saying I could make it and it just gave me some false hope that I could really made it despite being just good in a few subjects and what a joke I turned out to be in the end. Sometimes it's better not to believe the hype and the half lies.

I thought hard about what my friend said to me while I was watching him barbecuing the chicken wings. He was more worried about what the future holds for him than anything else. To him, getting a decent job is more important than getting into a relationship. That is pretty true also come to think of it. I worry about that a lot too. I am the eldest in the family and my parents are not getting any younger. Surely, I can't depend on them forever and leech off them when I am 30 right? Even thought they had said many times that they would live with themselves and not bother us when they grow old, I know they are just saying that to test me. There is no way I would abandon my parents when they grow old and sick. After all, it was them who bought me into this world and provided for me. They would be a burden but there's no escaping the fact that it's part of the responsiblity of a child to take care of your parents. I am always afraid I might not be good enough for them in the future.

I had already made a mistake 3 years ago so I should not repeat the same mistake this time. I am going to think hard about the next step in my life.

Life is one sweet irony

2006-04-14T14:53:00.000+08:00

Good Friday, Bad Friday. I should had been working but then I took leave for the chalet thingy a few days ago but then last minute it got switched to next week. Bleh. I messaged my manager to explain that I could cancel my leave and work on Friday as scheduled if he wanted me to and to also ask for leave next week. He didn't replied. I am thinking I had sort of lost the trust he had in me. Hope I don't get ^#@&@^#& when I see him tomorrow at work.

Speaking of trust, my friend must be wondering what the hell is going on also. Few days ago he asked if it's possible this Friday organize a kickabout. I told him it wasn't possible as I will be working that day which of course isn't the case now. Well every week, I am the organizer and the one that brings the ball. So if I fell sick or wasn't free, the whole thing is cancelled. Since I am free today, I sent messages to my kakis yesterday that we would be playing today anyway. I think he must be a little suprised when he got that message.

While we were waiting for our turn to play, I told my football kakis(ALL of them serving NS now) that I would be enlisted on the eve of World Cup. Their immediate reaction was to laugh at me. I had always followed the World Cup since US 94 so I thought it is very ironic that I would miss nearly all of the tournament this time. This fact is just hard to swallow but really, I can only blame myself for not passing my NAPFA. One of them told me he also had to miss Euro 2004 tournament also when they were enlisted that time.

A few of them, awaiting to go into NUS/NTU coming this August just mocked at me by shouting ORD LOR! Lucky bastards are going to get out soon enough and I still haven't go in and the worst thing is I am older than them. Sheesh. But their mocking I can take because I also mocked at them by flashing my pink IC in their face last time. Haha. They said my batch is very fortunate because they had to serve 2.5 years. I guess so, 1/2 more year of time wasting would had felt worst. I think we didn't even played much and then the skies just opened up and cried. God, I absolutely hate it when it rains cats and dogs. Especially when we were just starting to have fun. Today's session was over just like that. :(

The World Cup, well I am not really that interested in watching the group matches anyway. I just hope if I do get to book out on the weekends, I might be able to catch a few matches. Thus, I went to find out the schedule to see which matches falls on the weekends...

24 June Sat Round of 16
1 July Sat Quarter Finals
8 July Sat 3rd placing match

Oh crap, I guess really no chance to watch the final then... :(

What I dislike most about work...

2006-04-08T19:44:00.000+08:00

....is I have to force myself awake by 6am if I am assigned on the opening shift. Suddenly, it is back to the days of primary school all over again. I used to live at the eastern side of the island and had to wake up at an unearthly 5.30am every damn morning to catch two buses to my school in Toa Payoh. Sometimes I am like the first student to reach the school and it was a little errie to say the least. That went on for about 3 years until I moved to Kim Keat.

The work schedule is very flexible. Initally, I thought they put me on full time but actually I realized I am just one of their many part timers. I work like 4 or 5 days and different hours each time. Sometimes 6 hours and the most was 10 hours at a go, which was a little crazy. I have problems sleeping early for morning shift because all along after the internship, I usually sleep late and woke up late every day. You can pretty much say I am a nightowl type of person.

So, I still have this unhealthy habit despite having to work the morning shift, which just makes me pretty tired and grumpy when I reach the workplace. Because I just don't feel like talking much or have this expressionless look on my face, they probably think I am unfriendly or an introvert but the truth is I just feel tired inside and all I want to do is sleep but I cannot, thus my brain just stays in hiberation mode until the afternoon when I feel much less lathergic.

I think most of the people in my workplace are nice except for a few who I can feel sort of dislike me perhaps because I am new or I rarely talk much. The most asked question by my fellow colleagues(those around my age) was how old I was. I always tell them to make a guess. EVERYONE seems to think that I am around 17-19. I am not joking but not one got my age right. It is very flattering to know I still look ~~childish~~ young. How I wished I was really what they say I was.

Other than that, nothing really much to whine about. I am glad just to have a job to keep myself occupied until I am called up. Though some people might feel it is a little beneath them to serve food or clear the crap after the customers had left, to me it is not a problem as long as I enjoy myself and have fun. Nothing really matters much now anyway. Why should I make myself unhappy, angry or whatever when I have roughly only 2 months left to have fun? This turtle bookmark I saw in my cousin's house is a good reminder to me. Take it easy. Simple advice indeed but not everyone knows how to follow it.

Speaking about jobs, I think I had a deja vu feeling when I saw this upon checking the school email.

Sometime back, I went alone for an interview at their office for the printer job recommended by my classmate. In the end, it did not worked out. Neither did my other classmates who tried for it but now they are desperate for people again? I think since they state that they are willing to take in those who are awaiting enlistment, you guys who are hopelessly jobless (YES YOU WHO IS READING THIS!) should go down and give it a try. Time to wake up your idea and move your lazy butt and go for interviews. Anything is better than rotting aimlessly at home really.

The dreaded letter is here

2006-04-01T19:15:00.000+08:00

What an April Fool's Day indeed. After my friend told me that he received his enlistment letter this morning, my first reaction was to immediately go check the mailbox. I got excited for nothing as there isn't anything inside. This sounds stupid but I was jealous of him because my mentality is I rather get into this shit as early as possible and get done with it as quickly as possible. That means to get into the first June/July intake instead of the second September/October intake. So I was pleasantly relieved when I saw two colored letters from Mindef when I checked the mailbox in the evening again.

Finally, it has come. Thank god. When most of my secondary school friends/football kakis are about nearly 1 year into it or soon to ORD already. But here I am, still haven't serve it. I should had been with them but alas for the delay. I am overdue for this and I go in as an old bird. I had counted, 67 days to Tekong chalet. So hey it's time to enjoy, have fun, go crazy and spend whatever remaining civilian time I have to the fullest before my time is up.

*Tick Tock* *Tick Tock* The Countdown has begun.

Government give me present but I am still unhappy...

2006-03-29T14:52:00.000+08:00

I checked the letterbox just now and they were finally here. Thank goodness, or else I can't stand the constant questions anymore. I mean my mum kept on asking me when the letter would arrive ever since they announced this last month. Surprise surprise, there was one for me also. Then I remembered, I already hit the age to watch R(A) movies already. So I qualify for this also.

I got a shock when I read the contents. That is quite a lot of $ for a jobless slacker like me. About twice as what I have in my pathetic bank account. Wow. Thank you PAP for this pre election ~~bribe~~ goodie. Though it doesn't have an effect on me as it has always been a walkover for many many years in my town.

This might sound absolutely retarded but honestly given the chance, I do not want the cash. Most people might gleefully accept the handout but I see it in another way. They sending the letter to me only serves to remind me how awfully old I am now. If there was a chance, I would gladly exchange the money to be 18 years old again. Back to the days where I was youthful, innocent and not giving a damn care of the world.

I would turn back time and make things right again. I wasted a lot of time back in secondary school. I want them back. I would had strived harder to prevent getting into this shitty predicament I am in now. I might not look like it but I have been vastly unhappy for 4 years now. It's like a vicious cycle. I didn't got into something I liked, I lost the passion to work hard ever since I got in to this unfavourable course, I just wanted to get through it and in the end I graduated with a lousy GPA. Neither good nor bad.

Plus, I have zero idea what the hell I will do after NS. I think I lost myself for the past 3 years. I hate to feel like that as I am one who prefers to be in control and know what I am going to do in the future. But now, this certainly isn't the case.

Hoping that lady would really employ me for the cafe job or else I would keep thinking about all these and that other thing more and more as each day passes. Arrgh, it is an unhealthy habit I had developed since I was young. And oh, they had better send the enlistment letter quickly to me also. I am growing a tad impatient.

Lame Joke Of The Day

2006-03-26T23:57:00.000+08:00

I watched the Merseyside Derby at my friend's, who is a Liverpool fan. It was what you would expect from a derby. Passion, tackles flying around, end to end action. Though I had expected Liverpool to win 2-1 before the match, I was kind of disappointed at how Everton failed to capitalize on the one man advantage.

There were lots of talking points, but the main one must be the dismissal of their inflential captain. He got sent off quite early in the first half. Both of the yellow cards were given a minute apart and well deserved. The first was just silly. The second one was pretty much irresponsible as he went in two footed into the opponent just outside the penalty box. I really thought he must had lost his mind. What a bloody letdown but I bet he is surely thankful to his team mates for coping very well despite his absence.

Read this article first to better understand the joke perhaps.

Special 08 shirts at Mersey derby

Two top footballers have made history by having their shirt numbers changed for an all-important Merseyside derby.

Everton's James Beattie and Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard both wore an "08" shirt on Saturday - marking the city's year as Capital of Culture.

The numbers got special permission from the FA Premier League to promote the 08 Ambassadors Programme.

After the match, at Anfield, the two shirts were being auctioned for charity by the Liverpool Culture Company.

The 08 Ambassadors programme has been created for well-known people to spread the word about the city and its role as European Capital of Culture 2008.

Q: Why is Gerrard's 08 jersey worth more than Beattie's 08 jersey?
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A: Cos Gerrard's one would be very clean as worn only for 18 minutes and comes with a red card also. :)

It is 7am now...

2006-03-23T07:09:00.000+08:00

After a wild and crazy night, I should be sleepy by right. But by left I am typing this post out while looking out the window. It's a brand new day, Mr Sunshine ain't out because it's still drizzling. The roads are wet and the cars are moving. I am pretty awake, while listening to some groovy tunes. After we left for home, I told my friend I wasn't a bit tired. He laughed and I can guess he probably didn't believed me. Well, I'm not lying.

While on the journey home, I thought about many stuffs. I realized a lot of things today. I was right all along. Reached home at 5. After a bath, I sat my lazy arse in front of the telly and watched the footie. Flipping between the FA Cup match and the Spanish League. Same old predictable bullshit really. Chelsea winning and Real Madrid being just absolute rubbish.

Then I went to lie on my bed not to sleep but to stare at the ceiling. I reflected on the things that happened.

What I had learnt....

1) The blazer was too formal. But it's alright, I can save it for future weddings and funerals.

2) The food was honestly terrible. Even my ex supervisor's wedding was slightly better. I ate more, dressed worst and paid less than this scam. The only saving grace was the host.

3) Hot, loud, dark and air polluted with second hand smoke. It's precisely what I had thought of alright.

4) Even if you are ugly or sexually confused, it's alright. Because it's so dark inside that no one really gives a crap about how you look.

5) Continuing on the theme of sexually confused, how do they classified those type of people? Are they allowed in free as a lady? or a dude? This had been puzzling me ever since I left.

6) Even if you don't really like the genre of music that much, after a while you would start moving to the beat. It is just that infectious. But you would probably want to get the hell out after an hour. Like my friend whom left early. I won't blame him. It was like a torture to a metal loving fan.

7) Dancing like an absolute idiot is perfectly acceptable. All thanks to the the lack of light inside.

8) Despite being a non clubber, I think my opinion has changed slightly. Maybe I will agree to go with my army friends to MOS to have a look see the next time they ask me.

9) After the signs that was given to me, I can pretty much say I am neither as enthusiastic nor as interested in bothering to get into a relationship before I get into National Slavery anymore. I am not stupid, I understood all that. All along I never thought it was a good idea. Now it's been proven.

10) No one will probably give a crap about all these. But it's alright. I love to talk to myself.

Oh no, I had thought I would be tired after typing all this nonsense. But I am still very awake. Blah, I think I am going to watch my taped movie, "The Pianist" now.

Shopping is fun...

2006-03-20T00:12:00.000+08:00

...only when it is with the right person. I never could understood the opposite sex's fascination of walking around almost every single damn shop in a shopping mall even though they do not have the intention of making a purchase. It's like you go in to every shop and try a few stuffs on and then quickly exit and go to the next shop and do the same stuff over again. For hours at a time. It's like die die must see got any good offers in any of the shops.

For me, I am very different. Before I make a purchase, I already had in mind what I want. So I just go in to the shop, grab whatever I want and then get the hell out. This is so much simpler and efficient. That is why I really hate shopping with females. It is like the most boring activity. Most of the time you just walk around with them like a fool. Sometimes my mum ask me to tag along to her shopping trips, I always say no. Because I know I will just be given bags and bags stuffs to carry. The only time I would agree is when she want to buy stuffs for me. :)

Prom is a bitch because firstly, I hate to dress formal. It is just awkward and uncomfortable to wear those clothings. No doubt it does look smart but I had never got used to wearing long sleeve shirts and business pants. Secondly, I already had decided what to wear for that night and already had everything in my warerobe except the blazer. I asked my sis how much a typical one would cost and she told me it would burn a $200+ hole in my wallet. O_0 Holy cow, this is insane but I still wanted to get one anyway. But I got to look around for a cheaper one of course.

Initially, I agreed to go browsing around with XF since I did not had a clue where to buy them and she also hadn't got a clue what to wear but she later denied that she had ever said yes. Boo boo to broken promises. But thank goodness, she "put aeroplane" on me as I had a backup shopping companion with a better taste anyway. That would be my sister.

We walked around quite a number of stores like G2000, U2, Zara, Takashimaya, Topman etc etc. She was right all along. A typical blazer cost around $200+. I even seen a few which cost $1000+. That is absolutely ridiculous. After walking around a lot of shops, I think most of the blazers they have do look nice but the thing is their smallest size doesn't fit me. The sleeves are too long and when I wear it, it just doesn't fit me. I had wanted to get the one from Topman as it was the cheapest but after hearing my sister's advice, I decided not to as the altering would take 1-2 weeks.

I kind of lost interest in walking around more shops because I guess it would be the same outcome anyway. The smallest size ones they have won't fit me. My sis just told me to walk and look around more and maybe I will struck gold. She was right. I finally found the perfect blazer in a shop at Centrepoint. Ironically, we wouldn't had knew the shop existed if not for the recommendation from a previous shop. The shopkeeper advised me to try that shop when I couldn't fit into their smallest size blazer.

This was where my sister was a great help. She asked a lot of questions with the sales assistant which I normally won't had bothered. Like whether it would fit my shirt, pants and all that. She even tried to bargain the price for me, which I would never do because I don't like to be seen as a cheapskate. I still was a little undecided as it cost $250. But I thought since I finally found one that suits me,screw it I'll splash the cash. It is still expensive in my eyes but compared to Zara and G200, it is 50 bucks cheaper. Can say I got a small bargian and furthermore, it fits me perfectly and needs no altering. So I reckon it's worth it anyway.

I got home and my mum scolded me for wasting money. I could understand why but I used my own money anyway and I won't deny that it still does hurt a little because I had never spent so much on a single clothing item. But well, I can still use it next time anyway. All I can say is after this shopping trip, I know better next time who to bring along when I need to shop for clothes.

I am not myself...

2006-03-14T19:27:00.000+08:00

I really can't figure out why. The past few days have been really weird. I think I really might have some mental disorder. Even my friend says so.

-For two days in a row, all I ate in the afternoons when I woke up was the a bowl of dessert cooked by mum.

-For two days in a row, I did not had any appetite to had dinner. And no, it's not because I am on a diet like Xiufang :)

- I had the balls to go find that someone on Saturday and wait for 3+ hours patiently in vain the next day. Yet now, I don't feel any motivation to follow up and try again.

-The idiot in me thought that the 0030 in the last bus departure time = 1.30am. So in the end, had to take taxi home from one end of the island to Toa Payoh.

I must be lying through my teeth if I said I didn't felt a little down after what happened on Sunday. What I had thought in mind didn't materialize. I realized it was a big mess when I really got down to execute the plan. Nothing was going right but at the end of the day, I can only blame myself for assuming that the plan was flawless.

When I woke up on Monday, I just felt awful and all I wanted to do was continue sleeping. But I just remembered I had already promised my classmate to go for a job interview together. So I dragged my ass off the bed and got down to meet him. I don't know why but I brought along the bag containing the presents though I didn't intend to do anything with it.

We went to Gallery Hotel in Robertson Quay. Neither of us had heard of it before. My friend then realized that the place is somewhat near Liquid Room or whatever when we reached it. I think I got more confused when he mentioned Liquid Room. The non clubber in me ain't that familiar with all these names. I think we spotted the hotel where the prom night would be held. Looks like the $55 might be well spent but it's still nothing compared to The Fullerton last year.

After the interview was over, my friend had strong opinions about it. After thinking through what he had said, I agreed also. The job is a little strange in terms of working hours. There's nothing strange about the pay but 5 hours only?? That is a tad too little? Though that stylish interview guy looks likely to call anyone of us on Thursday, I had already made up my mind to reject him.

Next stop for us was Suntec where I was more hopeful because I actually want the job more than that hotel one. We went to Carrefour to seek employment but realized that they only wanted full timers. :( That was the second time I had tried for this job. The first time was when I went with my sister, she got employed on the spot and my form was probably thrown into some rubbish bin I reckon. Guess we won't be fellow colleagues. She works full time till the new semester reopens. They lack and need cashiers but I won't bother trying as the uniform is ugly and I had preferred being a retail assistant for the simple fact that I can walk around and need not handle tonnes of incoming customers. Cest La Vive indeed.

I watched my friend eat his first ever meal at Carl's Junior. I only drank some Coke as I just didn't had the appetite anyway. He told me I should just try again since I already bought the bag along but I just replied I don't know. After the meal, he suggested walking around Marina Square. I had a deja vu feeling again. That week when I went to see the World Cup, I also visited Carl's Junior and then walked around Marina Square. How come it's happening again?

But thankfully this time, we didn't watched any lame crappy movie and just went to the arcade. Maybe he guessed that I would had felt better after this. I watched him played the guitar machine, he's very good. While walking to the MRT station, he just kept on asking me about my decision. I just had the same answer. I don't feel that normal today. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I had PMS that day. I told him I'd tried tomorrow if I felt better when I woke up. He couldn't understand why and I also din't know why I don't bother trying again. But the truth is, I don't even had any confidence inside me at all unlike Saturday.

I did felt slightly better today but since I did not saw any suitable jobs interviews to try for in the ads, I just felt like going home. I did and thus, I dropped the idea of going down to pass the bloody overdue presents again. Hurray for procrastination!

But I think I'm back to normal. Of course I am when I just had my dinner for the first time in three days. Hahaha. Tomorrow is a new day, I think it's time to stop worrying too damn much and give myself a chance.

Meme of Four

2006-03-09T12:12:00.000+08:00

As I wait and wait patiently for the phone call from the rather hopeful interview which I went a few days ago, I am thinking that interviewer lady is just giving me false hopes again, just like the other ones that I had tried for. She didn't promised to call but she sounded like I am 99% sure of getting employed. Maybe I was too hopeful. OT, sai kang, clear the rubbish, I can do it all. Just get me out of my terribly uninteresting and boring slacking life right now.

Saw this meme somewhere.

4 Jobs I've had in my life

Recycled Materials Collector
Warehouse Sales assistant
Convenience store assistant
DSTA intern

4 movies I could watch over and over

Memento
LOTR: The Two Towers
Fight Club
Saving Private Ryan

4 TV shows I love(d) to watch

Lost
Desperate Housewives
Amazing Race
Fear Factor

4 places I've lived

Ubi
Toa Payoh Lor 5
Kim Keat
Toa Payoh East

Is it a sign that I'm going to be always stuck in Toa Payoh all my life?

4 places I'd been on vaction to

Malacca
JB
Xiamen
Errr...Sentosa? HAHAHA

Malacca is such a boring place. Same with Xiamen. But their weather is cool. Not to the point of snowing, which I like very much. It's a shame mid 10 degrees type of temperature won't ever happen here.

4 places I'd would rather be

HK
Taiwan
Germany in June
In a bedroom with twins having a jolly good... *Ahem*

4 favourite foods

Subway Sandwiches
Lor Mee
Kway Chup
Mum's Nasi Lemak

4 websites I visit daily

Soccernet.com
fark.com
Youtube.com
Gamefaqs.com

4 persons to tag this to

My mother
My grandmother
My dog
My Pooh Bear

I don't have friends who blog. Not that I can think of anyway. Most of them prefer to be an anonymous blog voyeur. If anyone happens to read this and you're bored, then go do this lor.

World Cup and Paranoia

2006-03-04T22:48:00.000+08:00

Ahhh, 2006. The year where the 4 years once World Cup tournament would be held. For one month, eyes of football fanatics would stay glued to the telly to watch 22 men chase and kick a small ball around a grass patch. Many people, non fans or women simply do not understand why they would do that for. It's for the honour of their country and the right to be called world champions of course! Simply put, the World Cup is the holy grail of football.

The winning team would be awarded the World Cup trophy. But the thing is, they ain't getting the real 18 carat solid gold trophy weighting 5kg as the rules state that it would never be won outright. Instead, a replica gold plated trophy would be given to the winner to keep until the next tournament.

So when the real World Cup trophy was slated to go on a world tour for the first time ever, fans of the sport were probably hoping it would come to their country. Even though we are only a tiny island, we are the 18th stop in the 3 month tour covering 29 countries. I quickly secured two tickets a week before the exhibiton was to be held.

I think I must had the surprise of the month when my friend called me while I was on the train. He said he somehow met our classmate there. I was like 0_o. No way in hell would he ever come to Suntec carrying his bag and wearing those uncle clothes as usual? I was proven wrong. He did had his usual school bag and wore those unfashionable clothes like I had thought. That was a pleasant surprise to start the day off. Apparently, he was there for the Career Fair.

Of course we had to drag him to see the trophy with us, though I can pretty much guess he had zero interest in it. After he queued up to get the ticket, we all went in. While we walked around, he kept asking me where the trophy was. Bloody hell, even the football fan in me isn't as impatient and eager as him. Then we got into a hall and was told to sit down to watch some movie.

It was a short 3D movie and it was a miracle I walked out still having the ability to hear. Throughout the movie, I had to tolerate the loud sound effects as the damn speakers were just behind us. As we walked out, I finally saw the thing we were here for. But first we had to queue up to get our turn to take a Polaroid photo with it.

That was the best shot I could get of the trophy. The other photos I took wasn't as clear because the gold of the trophy just reflected back to my lenses and made the photos blur. Haha. As I stared at the trophy when it was my turn to pose and take a picture with it, there was an urge to touch it. But of course I would be out of my mind to do that because there were policeman all around looking at your every move. Nontheless, it was a fascinating moment to be so physically close to the real thing as all along I had only seen it on TV.

While we were playing the new FIFA2006 game on the fabulous XBox 360, the geeky friend of ours had to excuse himself to visit the Career Fair again. I suspect there must be lots of hot babes there for him to visit it twice. Haha. Anyway, after getting trashed twice, we decided to go have lunch. Usually when I am in the area, I would most probably visit Carl's Junior @ Marina Square and stuff myself with junk food.

I think I could count with my two hands the times I had patronised it since their first outlet was opened here last year. Since then, they had two more oulets if I'm not wrong. Fast food in Singapore kinda sucks in the sense that the burgers are usually small. The only one I could half tolerate is Burger King. But still, it pales in comparison with Carl's Jr as the food serving is definitely not JUNIOR, unlike the name suggests. Of course, the price is a little steep. You can buy two McDonald's meals with one meal here! The system is like MOS Burger where they would deliver your order and there's free flow of drinks. It is worth it as you would feel pretty full later.

While we ate, my friend suggested watching a movie. The first flim that came into my mind was "Munich" but he insisted on watching Big Momma House 2. I mean, even if you don't know what the movie is about, once you hear the title, you would probably guess that it must be something silly. Even the newspaper 2 ticks rating couldn't changed his mind. He would rather watch a brainless and lame show than to watch one which is nominated for Oscar awards. All along, I had suspected his taste in movies but I reluctantly agreed to go along with his choice as it was shown at an earlier time than mine.

While we were walking to the cinema, that geeky friend of ours finally called. I think I nearly scolded him when I heard his voice but I resisted. It is because I told him to switch on his phone while he left us in Suntec and later I tried to call a few times as we were going to eat but all I got was the damn voicemail. My friend told me to ask him if he wanted to ~~waste money~~ tag along to watch the movie with us. I think he would be a fool if he said yes. Of course being the good boy, he declined and asked me which is the cheapest way to go home. DUH! I think I really wanted to *$*#@^@* him for asking such a stupid question. But of course being the nice classmate, I told him to take a bus home. I don't know why but he also told me that he saw two female classmates of ours at the Career Fair. I can only say WHAT'S WITH THE CAREER FAIR SERIOUSLY???? How come so many of them go there?

My friend wasn't satisfied with only recruiting me to agree to his evil plan, so he called those two female classmates and asked them to join us to ~~waste money~~ watch with us. Thankfully, they were smart enough to say no also. Only some idiot like me would say yes. But that is only because I could afford to waste money. All thanks to Mr Hasselbaink :) I was surprised to hear those two applied for jobs at the IT Fair? I can't imagine them as showgirls really. Maybe they aren't. But if they are, surely there are better jobs out there?

As we passed by the bowling alley, I pointed to the one lady who threw the ball into the "drain". I told him I was like her. My money is already down the drain. The movie was pretty lame as expected. I think I only really laughed like twice throughout the movie. The other parts were so corny but yet the audience laughed like idiots at every other scene. All I can say is AVOID WATCHING BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE 2 IF YOU PLAN TO. It is that bad. Even the gay themed Brokeback Mountain would make a much better choice really! Oh well, at least my friend admitted afterwards that it was rubbish and we should had watched Munich instead.

Maybe I was too worried inside while watching to really enjoy the movie. I am getting paranoid by that decision made by that one individual. In fact, I still am thinking about it now. Arrgh, I don't know why but I can't stop thinking about it. But first, I got to find out more before I go crazy for nothing.

Birthday Blues

2006-02-26T15:46:00.000+08:00

Today is a great day. The weather is fine, cloudy and not a hint of sunlight. Just perfect for playing football or just lazing at home. Unfortunately, I still feel a tad unwell and don't really feel like doing anything or going anywhere except lying on my bed.

Looking across my messy table, I see some presents in the form of chocolates, flowers, a Pooh bear with an inflated head and a birthday card with a specially made handmade keychain lying in one corner. Actually, most of it have been prepared weeks ago and all ready to be given out today. But why is it STILL there when it should be in the hands of rightful owner? Long story short, I don't like to make it look like a big deal nor attract attention if I was to personally pass it. So, I prefer to send all these anonymously and secretly.

But the thing is I don't have the address of the recipient. Ironically, I remembered going to the apartment once with a bunch of friends sometime ago? I am pretty sure of the block and unit but not the exact storey. Last ditch plans to get the address from close friends drew a blank. Ah well, guess it ain't fated. I have been tempting to go down now to where that someone lives and somehow find the exact unit and leave it outside. But I know myself well, I am not that daring to do that. It always have been my Achilles heel.

Hmmph, no worries then. It won't be thrown away to the rubbish bin. I probably give it away to my sister then. She has been eyeing both the soft toy and the bloody chocolates ever since I bought it. I guess the mere consolation here is at least I did made someone happy after all.

*Sigh*

Observations from an unwell fan...

2006-02-24T00:25:00.000+08:00

These few days, I have been feeling a little under the weather. It's as if my throat has a lump in it and the tissue in my room would be used up soon if the damn sneezing don't stop any time soon. I guess it's due to my sleeping cycle. I sleep at around 5-6+am everyday and then wake up in the evenings. That is a tad screwed up really. I blame those companies for not calling me to fill their job positions that I had went for. Ought to start working soon. No more bumming around wasting time at home.

Despite being ill, I managed to catch the Champs League on both days and these are some random little things I had noticed...

1) Real Madrid, a Spanish club, had more English players on the field than Arsenal, an English club whom didn't even had one single English player? But well, I guess Campbell and Cole would be in the lineup if they were fit.

2) Woodgate. Awesome for Real ever since he came back from the long injury. But is he really made of glass?

3) Liverpool. The European champs proofs further that they are nothing but a one man team?

4) Inter Milan. They might as well be called Inter South America. Alarmingly, 8 out of their starting XI are from the South American region!

5) Messi. Had noticed him from last season and now he has finally been fully unleashed by Barca this season. One to watch for the future. But that rolling around play acting that led to the sending off was a little disgraceful.

6) Mourinho. Love the man for the most parts but all I can say is he had this coming for a long time. It would be interesting to see how he overturns the deficit in Catalonia in a fortnight.

I love these two ads...

2006-02-23T02:30:00.000+08:00

Creative and funny. But surely will be banned if it was here.

One is for an optician while the other is for anti smoking.

Familiar people and First Times...

2006-02-18T19:54:00.000+08:00

Went back to the office to play football with the guys on Thursday. When I step into the cubicle, I felt calm for some reason. My colleagues were surprised to see me. They asked what I am doing now, how am I and all that while I waited till for the guys to knock off from work. Before I left, they passed me a big white envelope. Inside contained my testimonial. Actually I didn't really cared much about it, after all I do not intend to work in this industry anyway so whatever that is written inside won't help me much. It was my team mate who requested my supervisor to prepare one for him as unlike us, he had already served the nation and is going to seek employment right now.

After that, we want to the open field to play football. I really couldn't understood why we couldn't played in the usual basketball/futsal court. Then they told me that it was because the PGMs(Program Manager, aka highest ranked in the office) didn't want to go that far to play. The grass field was nearer than the basketball court. It wasn't the best pitch honestly, with all those holes and uneven patches, but I guess it didn't really mattered when all they wanted was to exercise. It was the first time I had played with the big shots from the office. Normally, we would just play with guys around the office but this time we roped in the PGMs to join us and surprisingly, they agreed. One of them was still pretty good though he claims to be horribly out of shape.

What is the first time I am referring to in the title? No, not THAT. Saturday I had my first times. I was preparing to watch the big match and suddenly my classmate called to invite me to go down to his apartment to gamble and relax. I agreed as it was just bloody boring to watch football at home alone. I think I made the right decision after watching the highlights. It was a typical boring Liverpool 1-0 win.

There were 5 of us including his colleague. We played Blackjack, drank alcohol, talk cock until the early morning. Bloody hell, my classmate lost $15 in less than an hour. 1 left midway but it doesn't matter as he couldn't take in any more liquid. We finished 1 bottle of scotch and then 2 of the others collapsed soon after. Then only left me and my classmate still sober enough. That crazy dude insisted on finishing the 2nd bottle of scotch when I really just wanted to watch the Newcastle/Saints match on his laptop.

"Come on, we two finish this bottle then we collapse and sleep after that!"

Don't be stupid. 2 people how can finish it? I not as hardcore as you.

"Aiyah. can one. You same age as me surely good in drinking. Let's play Blackjack again!"

At that moment any sane person would just had walked away but I didn't. I was still perfectly alright even though I drank quite a bit. But I got to admit I was a little high at that time so I agreed. In my mind, I told myself that I rarely consume alocohol and knew very well that I was a lousy drinker so I probably won't last long. How wrong I was.

We managed to finish it 2 hours later. I drank quite a lot at the start and I felt like the whole room was moving and my head felt heavy. Though I was drunk now, I remembered very clearly that I laughed quite a lot of times and talk a lot of nonsense. My drinking buddy just kept on asking how long more I could last. I just told him a few more till I cannot take it anymore. Then my classmate just kept on losing and losing and losing. He couldn't even count the points on his cards properly! Hahahaha. To think that I am more sober than him, a hardcore drinker.

I could see that he couldn't last much longer and thank god there is only a little left. I knew I would have a terrible hangover if I continued to drink. So whenever I lost, I would just act drunk(I was pretty wasted but I KNEW and remembered perfectly everything I was doing) by...

1) Pouring my drink in the dustbin
2) Spill in on the floor
3) Make an excuse to go toilet to piss when all I wanted to do was to pour the scotch in the toilet bowl

I guessed he probably knew but couldn't remembered anyway. He asked me if I ever got drunk before. I said maybe a few times. But the truth is, I had never been drunk. My parents are strict with me on this matter and anyway, I hate drinking. The best part of the whole thing was he took a shower TWICE in like 1/2 hour. I knew something was wrong when he took that long to piss. So I went to check on him in case something happened. Holy cow, he was naked like a baby sitting on the floor and showering himself. I didn't knew how to react because this was the first time I had seen a guy's private parts in real life. This was just....surreal.

He tried to pull me in to shower with him. I just threw him a towel and told him to wipe himself and come out. He walked out as if he would fall down any moment. I tried to guide him to wear his pants but I gave up after he mistook the towel for his pants and tried to wear it. ¬_¬ Oh well, he's pretty much gone case I thought. Then he insisted on continue playing so as to not waste the drink. At this point, I just wanted to go home. But I couldn't until I 100% confirm that he really passed out and slept. You won't want to see accidents happening to intoxicated people. We managed to finish the whole thing but soon after he went to take a shower again. But this time when he came out, he finally collapsed with a blanket covering his body. I breathed a sigh of relief as it's finally over.

I had faded memories of messaging my friend to come drive me home. At 7am. I really really didn't knew why I did that. Maybe at that time I just wanted to get back home fast. I think the most amazing thing was I managed to take public transport home. I remembered and knew everything I did but come to think of it, I seriously didn't knew how I managed to still act so normal and pull all these off.

I woke up 4 hours later with no signs of any hangovers. I was back to normal. I guess I really underestimated myself. But next time, I am not going to be that foolish anymore. Being drunk gives you a temporary escape from the reality but that ain't for me even though I remembered and knew what I was doing when I was pissed drunk. What about my friend?

Well, he called me later and asked me what happened to him when he was drunk. He was amazed that I could recalled so many things as he really didn't remembered anything. He actually was stunned to find himself clothless when he woke up and thought I was the one who undressed him. ¬_¬ He commented that I am a hidden talent in drinking. Eeeek, no way and no more of this. After that, he collapsed again and went to sleep. HAHAHAHA.

Goodbye, Good Food and Good Riddance...

2006-02-12T19:18:00.000+08:00

This week was significant as it spelled the end of my three year tertiary education finally. I have been waiting for so long for this day to come but when it arrived, I felt nothing special. It was just like any other ordinary day.

My viva was like on the first week of this month. Overall it was alright even though there were a few screw ups. In the end, I thought I did the best in the presentation despite not having the chance to rehearse unlike my two other team mates. The demo had a few cocked up moments as I forgot the page address and where the database was. The second marker was like very very curious about the system. He didn't really asked me much but instead shoot a lot of questions and also irrelevant ones towards my team mates which thankfully my supervisor answered.

Though the viva was already over, we still had to come to the office for one last week. I still had some work to complete whereas my team mates was free and slacked the whole day away. But during the last two days, my colleagues finally told me to forget about it and let them complete my stuffs. I felt a little guilty about it but thankfully, they ended my misery. No more bloody programming ever, I swear on that. I realized how out of depth I am when I got into this internship. The IT industry ain't suitable for me, that's for sure.

But the last few days before we left, we ate a lot of stuffs. Good stuffs. Thank god I'm not

<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00151.jpg"></a> This week was significant as it spelled the end of my three year tertiary education finally. I have been waiting for so long till this day to come but when it came, I felt nothing special. It was just like any other ordinary day. My viva was like on the first week of this month. Overall it was alright even though there were a few screw ups. In the end, I thought I did the best in the presentation despite not having to rehearse unlike my two other team mates. The demo had a few cocked up moments as I forgot the page address and where the database was. The second marker was like very very curious about the system. He didn't really asked me much but instead shoot a lot of questions and also irrelevant ones towards my team mates which thankfully my supervisor answered. Though the viva was already over, we still had to come to the office for one last week. I still had some work to complete whereas my team mates was free and slacked the whole day away. But during the last two days, my colleagues finally told me to forget about it and let them complete my stuffs. I felt a little guilty about it but thankfully, they ended my misery. No more bloody programming ever, I swear on that. I realized how out of depth I am when I got into this internship. The IT industry ain't suitable for me, that's for sure. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/Long%20Beach.jpg"></a> But the last few days before we left, we ate a lot of stuffs. Good stuffs. Thank god I'm not a girl, otherwise I would had put on weight! On Thursday, we had a company sponsored 7 course set lunch at Long Beach East Coast. Yeah, that one with the famous pepper crab. I think the company is pretty well off, half of the office was there. Even some who were at the users' site came down. Who says there's no free lunch(literally) in the world? But I wasn't really full until dinner time. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00145.1.jpg"></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00141.0.jpg"></a> Since we interns were leaving soon, my colleague suggested we go to Geylang to sample the claypot frog(田鸡) porridge for dinner. I love eating frog legs since young. We also ordered some side dishes. A few of them on the menu were exotic, like Marmite(!!!) crab. I had never heard of mango chicken until that day we tasted it. Everything was delicious really and the best thing was my colleagues foot the bill. So damn generous. Next time must patronise again. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00142.0.jpg"></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00143.0.jpg"></a> After that we walked down to the famous Taiwanese soya bean curd store and washed it down with a bowl of beancurd. It is still as soft as I had tasted few months ago. After all this, I think I felt like puking after that. I felt really full. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00147.jpg"></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00148.jpg"></a> On the last day, it was the turn of my supervisor to treat us. We went to a Japanese restaurant nearby for lunch. I really wanted to record a video of my colleague eating. Watching her eat is really a joy because she is very focused in it and takes her time to chew her food. I think even if it's like the worst tasting food but after you watch her consume, it would be like the most delicious food. Next time I would record a video when we meet up. Again we didn't had to pay. Bloody hell, I really felt damn fortunate. Throughout the past few months, they treated us interns so well. So at least must get something for them also. I ordered a Lana Cake of course, even if I STILL thought that it was way overpriced and overhyped. One of my colleague said she was touched that I bought the cake. I just honestly said it was nothing and I had to do this. Of course I would cut a big piece for my supervisor and one of my another colleague, who helped and guided me when I was doing my project. But when I cut a big portion, they declined and settled for a smaller piece instead. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00149.jpg"></a><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/DSC00150.jpg"></a> The surprise of the day must be when another colleague from another department came and gave us coffee from Coffee Bean. The nearest outlet was at Tiong Bahru Plaza and it was like a 10 minutes walk from the office. So I guessed he deliberately walked there and bought back coffee for us. He acted like it was no big deal and just wanted to treat us as it was our last day. This is just crazy. Everyone at the office are just so nice people. Of course we had to pour him a cup of his own caffeine and I also cut him a large slice of cake to go along with it. The remaining portion of the cake was distributed around the office. When I was washing the plates and knife in the pantry, a female colleague from another department made small talk with me. She asked if next week was the last week of our intership. I told her today was the last day. She asked what my plans were and then suddenly offered her hand, intending to shake my hand. I was taken aback by it and was slow to stretch my hand out. She laughed and said I shouldn't be shy and all along called me Xiao Di. I replied that I was already not young anymore. I was 21 and she still called me that! But she laughed again and commented that I am still youthful compared to her. Though I only really talked to her a few times before this, I always thought that she's kinda like the out going and friendly type. She then genuinely wished me good luck for the future. <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://not-a-real-namespace/http://not-a-real-namespace/http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/5593/164/1600/goodbye.0.jpg"></a> While walking to the MRT station at the end of the day, my colleague asked me if I was happy to leave the office for the last time. I told her I felt nothing because life goes on. Inside, I felt relieved because I need not touch any more IT stuffs but I also felt a little sad to leave the workplace filled with nice people.

a girl, otherwise I would had put on weight! On Thursday, we had a company sponsored 7 course set lunch at Long Beach East Coast. Yeah, that one with the famous pepper crab. I think the company is pretty well off, half of the office was there. Even some who were at the users' site came down. Who says there's no free lunch(literally) in the world? But I wasn't really full until dinner time.

Since we interns were leaving soon, my colleague suggested we go to Geylang to sample the claypot frog(田鸡) porridge for dinner. I love eating frog legs since young. We also ordered some side dishes. A few of them on the menu were exotic, like Marmite(!!!) crab. I had never heard of mango chicken until that day we tasted it. Everything was delicious really and the best thing was my colleagues foot the bill. So damn generous. Next time must patronise again.

After that we walked to the famous Taiwanese soya bean curd store and washed it down with a bowl of beancurd. It is still as soft as I had tasted few months ago. After all this, I think I felt like puking after that. I felt really full.

On the last day, it was the turn of my supervisor to treat us. We went to a Japanese restaurant nearby for lunch. I really wanted to record a video of my colleague eating. Watching her eat is really a joy because she is very focused in it and takes her time to chew her food. I think even if it's like the worst tasting food but after you watch her consume, it would be like the most delicious food. Next time I would record a video when we meet up.

Again we didn't had to pay. Bloody hell, I really felt damn fortunate. Throughout the past few months, they treated us interns so well. So at least must get something for them also. I ordered a Lana Cake of course, even if I STILL thought that it was way overpriced and overhyped. One of my colleague said she was touched that I bought the cake. I just honestly said it was nothing and I had to do this. Of course I would cut a big piece for my supervisor and one of my another colleague, who helped and guided me all the way when I was doing my project. But when I cut a big portion, they declined and settled for a smaller piece instead.

The surprise of the day must be when another colleague from another department came and gave us coffee from Coffee Bean. The nearest outlet was at Tiong Bahru Plaza which is like a 15 minutes walk from the office. So I guessed he deliberately walked there and bought back coffee for us. He acted like it was no big deal and just wanted to treat us as it was our last day. This is just crazy. Everyone at the office are just so nice people. Of course we had to pour him a cup of his own caffeine and I also cut him a large slice of cake to go along with it.

The remaining portion of the cake was distributed around the office. When I was washing the plates and knife in the pantry, a female colleague from another department made small talk with me. She asked if next week was the last week of our intership. I told her today was the last day. She asked what my plans were and then suddenly offered her hand, intending to shake my hand. I was taken aback by it and was slow to stretch my hand out. She laughed and said I shouldn't be shy and all along called me Xiao Di. I replied that I was already not young anymore. I was 21 and she still called me that! But she laughed again and commented that I am still youthful compared to her. Though I only really talked to her a few times before this, I always thought that she's kinda like the out going and friendly type. She then genuinely wished me good luck for the future.

While walking to the MRT station at the end of the day, my colleague asked me if I was happy to leave the office for the last time. I told her I felt nothing because life goes on. Inside, I felt relieved because I need not deal with any more IT stuffs but I also felt a little sad to leave the workplace filled with nice people.

Great idea + great execution = Comedy Gold

2006-02-09T02:20:00.000+08:00

While surfing in on the my current favourite site, I browsed around the top favourites and found this gem. I viewed it a few times and I just think that it's pure genius. Makes you wonder what people will do for free stuffs.

There's a part 2 but it's not as cool as this.

MV of the Week #1

2006-02-04T21:37:00.000+08:00

Most people have a high speed connectionl. Other than utilising it to download ~~porn~~ illegal copyrighted stuffs, play online games or listen to online streaming radio, what else could one do with it? Well, they could watch videos of course! Youtube is a great site for this. It is basically a free website for users to upload their video clips and share it with the rest of the internet community. Except for offensive stuffs, you could find just about anything under the sun.

For the past few weeks, I have not been sleeping well for whatever reasons. It's like I find it hard to get to dreamland. So to cure the insomnia, I would switch on the telly and watch whatever is showing on both MTV channels on cable till I collapse on the bed. So whenever I visit the site to waste time, I would search for music videos to view also.

From today onwards, I would post a favourite video of mine from the site on here weekly. They may range from funny, classics, contrversial or just nice to look at. This one falls under the first category.

(Pause the video, go do something else and wait for it to be fully loaded up.)

I like how their dance actions fit the music so well. I actually thought this dance group really existed but later found out that's not the case. Nontheless, it's still a brilliant piece of work. Never fails to make me laugh.

I found the remedy to ace the presentation...

2006-02-01T22:36:00.000+08:00

The conclusion to the project is coming. I'm having the viva at the end of this week. Pretty fast indeed, right after the CNY holidays. I saw this article just now and got me pondering a little.

Sex helps calm nerves before public speaking

Full sexual intercourse offers the best results, psychologist says
LONDON - Forget pretending you are talking to one person or concentrating on a single point in the audience — having sex is good way to calm nerves before giving a speech or presentation.
But Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley in Scotland, said it has to be full sexual intercourse to get the best results.

He studied nearly 50 men and women who recorded their sexual activities for two weeks and analyzed its impact on their blood pressure levels when under acute stress, such as when giving a speech.

Brody discovered that the volunteers who had sexual intercourse were the least stressed and had blood pressure levels that returned to normal more quickly than people who engaged in other types of sex.

But people who had abstained from sex had the highest blood pressure response to stress.

Even after taking into account stress due to work or other factors, the range of responses to stress were best explained by sexual behavior.

“The effects are not attributable simply to the short-term relief afforded by orgasm but rather, endure for at least a week,” Brody told New Scientist magazine said on Wednesday.

He believes that the release of the so-called “pair bonding” hormone oxytocin might explain the calming effect.

I have one question for the researchers. Hmmm, so only full intercourse would have an effect? Anal and oral sex won't calm one down before a presentation huh? HAHAHAHA. Damn, like that I must be really stressed up according to this article. HELP!111!!

In fact I would need a little help from above if I am as crap as I was at today's practice. But no fear, I have got a rough script ready for the occasion. That should tide me through safely. Of course it's lame to do a presentation by reading from your notes thus I need to memorise a little of it and get myself familiarized with what I am going to talk about that day.

Honestly, I think the grading system for the FYP is flawed to say the least. 50% for the viva? What the hell? Are they trying to say that the stuffs you had done for the past few months isn't as significant as the hour of presentation/demo? So alright, as long as you are a smooth talker and understand your work well even though your project might be shit, you basically would had passed your FYP. I had never really felt comfortable with their weird grading system. This is pretty cocked up. Even my colleagues agree when I told them the grading percentages.

Oh yea, also gotta fix that last pesky error of course. Sigh. That is why I hate IT. It's just never ending. When you think everything is fine and done, out pops some thing. In fact that error is 2 weeks overdue because I was occupied with the report and presentation. If I don't solve that, I'm pretty much screwed on Friday. Hurray!