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Hopes and Dreams

The chalet gathering made me realized one thing dearly. That is the carefree days of the past are over. Now it's time to enter into next step of life, adulthood. As I listened in to my classmates discussing about their future plans, I felt somewhat lost in my own thoughts because I have no clue at all. There they are already having an idea what they intend to do and yet I am seriously still undecided. It's just like standing in the middle of a crossroad junction and not knowing which route to take next.

The typical Singaporean education route would be to make it to a university at least. But of course not everyone is like the brilliant top student who is already guranteed a place in any of the top two local unis. I think that going to a uni doesn't necessary mean that one would be successful or earn big bucks in the future but unfortunately this is Singapore, where paper qualifications are highly looked upon. So well, life's like that, people will continue to judge you on a piece of paper like it or not. For the others like us, it's either to enter the army, the workforce or to continue to do private studies. But what next after the two years?

Honestly, I didn't forsee myself in this situation now. What I had thought I would be achieving when I was younger is totally different from what had happened now. Yes, I might had graduated with an expensive piece of toilet paper called the diploma but so did many other people and perhaps they actually had passion and enjoyed what they had learnt or studied, which is what I didn't possess. This might sound laughable but I had actually had ambitions of making it to a JC back then. Maybe it's because I believed too much into a few of my teachers and friends. They kept saying I could make it and it just gave me some false hope that I could really made it despite being just good in a few subjects and what a joke I turned out to be in the end. Sometimes it's better not to believe the hype and the half lies.

I thought hard about what my friend said to me while I was watching him barbecuing the chicken wings. He was more worried about what the future holds for him than anything else. To him, getting a decent job is more important than getting into a relationship. That is pretty true also come to think of it. I worry about that a lot too. I am the eldest in the family and my parents are not getting any younger. Surely, I can't depend on them forever and leech off them when I am 30 right? Even thought they had said many times that they would live with themselves and not bother us when they grow old, I know they are just saying that to test me. There is no way I would abandon my parents when they grow old and sick. After all, it was them who bought me into this world and provided for me. They would be a burden but there's no escaping the fact that it's part of the responsiblity of a child to take care of your parents. I am always afraid I might not be good enough for them in the future.

I had already made a mistake 3 years ago so I should not repeat the same mistake this time. I am going to think hard about the next step in my life.

The Author

About me

Who am I?
You can call me Jul

What I do?
Full Time Underpaid and Reluctant NSF/Part Time Weekend Footballer

What I think about me?
I don't know what to write here honestly. Kinda weird to describe myself. I don't want to sound full of myself or put myself down too much like I usually do...so hey, if you think I am what you think I am, then I am really what you think I am then...I'm fine either way...

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