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I am not myself...

I really can't figure out why. The past few days have been really weird. I think I really might have some mental disorder. Even my friend says so.

-For two days in a row, all I ate in the afternoons when I woke up was the a bowl of dessert cooked by mum.

-For two days in a row, I did not had any appetite to had dinner. And no, it's not because
I am on a diet like Xiufang :)

- I had the balls to go find that someone on Saturday and wait for 3+ hours patiently in vain the next day. Yet now, I don't feel any motivation to follow up and try again.

-The idiot in me thought that the 0030 in the last bus departure time = 1.30am. So in the end, had to take taxi home from one end of the island to Toa Payoh.

I must be lying through my teeth if I said I didn't felt a little down after what happened on Sunday. What I had thought in mind didn't materialize. I realized it was a big mess when I really got down to execute the plan. Nothing was going right but at the end of the day, I can only blame myself for assuming that the plan was flawless.

When I woke up on Monday, I just felt awful and all I wanted to do was continue sleeping. But I just remembered I had already promised my classmate to go
for a job interview together. So I dragged my ass off the bed and got down to meet him. I don't know why but I brought along the bag containing the presents though I didn't intend to do anything with it.

We went to Gallery Hotel in Robertson Quay. Neither of us had heard of it before. My friend then realized that the place is somewhat near Liquid Room or whatever when we reached it. I think I got more confused when he mentioned Liquid Room. The non clubber in me ain't that familiar with all these names. I think we spotted the hotel whe
re the prom night would be held. Looks like the $55 might be well spent but it's still nothing compared to The Fullerton last year.

After the interview was over, my friend had strong opinions about it. After thinking through what he had said, I agreed also. The job is a little strange in terms of working hours. There's nothing strange about the pay but 5 hours only?? That is a tad too little? Though that stylish interview guy looks likely to call anyone of us on Thursday, I had already made up my mind to reject him.

Next stop for us was Suntec where I was more hopeful because I actually want the job more than that hotel one. We went to Carrefour to seek employment bu
t realized that they only wanted full timers. :( That was the second time I had tried for this job. The first time was when I went with my sister, she got employed on the spot and my form was probably thrown into some rubbish bin I reckon. Guess we won't be fellow colleagues. She works full time till the new semester reopens. They lack and need cashiers but I won't bother trying as the uniform is ugly and I had preferred being a retail assistant for the simple fact that I can walk around and need not handle tonnes of incoming customers. Cest La Vive indeed.

I watched my friend eat his first ever meal at Carl's Junior. I only drank some Coke as I just didn't had the appetite anyway. He told me I should just try again since I already bought the bag along but I just replied I don't know. After the meal, he suggested walking around Marina Square. I had a deja vu feeling again. That week when I went to see the World Cup, I also visited Carl's Junior and then walked around Marina Square. How come it's happening again?

But thankfully this time, we didn't watched any lame crappy movie and just went to the arcade. Maybe he guessed that I would had felt better after this. I watched him played the guitar machine, he's very good. While walking to the MRT station, he just kept on asking me about my decision. I just had the same answer. I don't feel that normal today. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's like I had PMS that day. I told him I'd tried tomorrow if I felt better when I woke up. He couldn't understand why and I also din't know why I don't bother trying again. But the truth is, I don't even had any confidence inside me at all unlike Saturday.

I did felt slightly better today but since I did not saw any suitable jobs interviews to try for in the ads, I just felt like going home. I did and thus, I dropped the idea of going down to pass the bloody overdue presents again. Hurray for procrastination!

But I think I'm back to normal. Of course I am when I just had my dinner for the first time in three days. Hahaha. Tomorrow is a new day, I think it's time to stop worrying too damn much and give myself a chance.

The Author

About me

Who am I?
You can call me Jul

What I do?
Full Time Underpaid and Reluctant NSF/Part Time Weekend Footballer

What I think about me?
I don't know what to write here honestly. Kinda weird to describe myself. I don't want to sound full of myself or put myself down too much like I usually do...so hey, if you think I am what you think I am, then I am really what you think I am then...I'm fine either way...

My profile
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