Monday, January 30, 2006

OMG!!! I'm gonna get lucky!!!11!!

The horoscope must be spot on. I am gonna get laid this year. OMG OMG Praise the Lords!!!

Yeah right. Normally I would just click every box in my spam folder and delete everything without looking but this one caught my eye among the numerous fake degrees, penis enhancements pills and those "send $ over to get someone's fortune" bollocks. I really have no clue how the spammers got my email really. My Yahoo and Hotmail don't have any spam mails.

Since I was terribly bored, I'm gonna play a game and reply to the email. I'm interested in what tricks those spammers have up their sleeves. Heh heh.

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Bye Bye Sissy...

I awoke this afternoon to find out that Pool got themselves Robbie Fowler on a free transfer. That was quite a surprise really, it came out of nowhere! I have never thought he would be back after how he was booted out by Houllier. My first thought was that it was a pretty shrewd decision by Benitez to bring "God" back. Firstly, the deal is only till the end of the season. If he makes it and Benitez likes what he sees, they can give him a longer deal. If it doesn't works out, he can be dumped. It's a no risk transaction really. Secondly, I guess he wants to have a core of homegrown players in every department, I mean like Carragher in defence and Stevie G in midfield. They are all born and bred in Liverpool and will bleed for the club. Now with Fowler back, everything is well again.

Secondly, he's fixing their striking options without splashing cash. Their upfront looks a little lightweight. They only really have 3 recognized strikers and no, Sinama doesn't count as he's still a raw talent. What they need is someone who's experienced and a good
finisher, Fowler can provide that but that is definetly not what Cisse possess of course. Especially after that horrendous open goal miss from so near the goal against ManU last week. Even a neutral fan like me watching it was disgusted and shouted vuglarities at the telly. Bloody hell, even my grandmother could had tapped it in with ease.

He came with a huge reputation and hype but have not really shown what he is truly capable of like in his Auxerre days. It must have been frustrating for Pool fans to see so little of that from him ever since he came on a record fee. Cisse is only good with his pace and it's not an open secret that Benitez doesn't really fancy him, judging from the early season where he wasn't played much and when he did, placing him on the right wing? WTF? I can guess Fowler's return would pretty much spell the end of Cisse. While I was re
ading the news, I'd noticed this article also.
Liverpool striker Djibril Cisse was cautioned by police for assaulting his pregnant wife, police said today.

The 24-year-old French international, who married wife Jude last June, was arrested at his home in Frodsham, Cheshire, last night. He was taken to a police station nearby and questioned before accepting a caution for common assault.

A Cheshire Constabulary spokesman said: "At around 9.40pm on the evening of Thursday 26th January, police attended an address on Manley Road in Frodsham after receiving an allegation of assault on a 30-year-old woman.

"As a result of police inquiries, a 24-year-old man was arrested on suspicion of section 39 assault. The man was interviewed at a police station and cautioned in respect of the assault."

Last October, the flamboyant forward announced that he and his wife were expecting their first child together in spring of this year. The couple both have children from previous relationships.

In the same month, he admitted assaulting a 15-year-old boy in a London park after the teenager mocked him while he filmed an advert. A spokesman for Liverpool FC declined to comment.

That is no way to treat any lady, let alone one who is carrying your damn baby for heavens sake. What a bastard. Anyway if he does go, I would miss his horrible hairstyles...NOT.

Monday, January 23, 2006

In the mood for CNY?

Honestly this year I don't feel the Lunar New Year mood. In fact when my mum asked me to do a spring cleaning of my room on Saturday, I laughed as I thought CNY is 2 weeks later. So what's the hurry eh? She then pointed to the calendar then I understood her urgency. That is a good example that I don't even realized when it was.

Maybe it's because I outgrown Chinese New Year. Maybe it's because I now dread having to be act friendly(when you are in fact annoyed by them) towards the relatives you rarely see more than once a year. Maybe I am tired of the same old relatives who are forever asking me when I would get a girlfriend to meet them. Other than stuffing my stomach with all the endless CNY goodies and bak kua and not forgetting the hongbaos, it is just another holiday to me. I rather go abroad if I had the choice. Celebrating the new year here is pretty superficial to me. Moreover, it's always the same old boring shit.

Last weekend I tagged along with my sister and mum to go down to Chinatown as I was terribly bored at home. I regretted that decision later. It rained when we reached and the bloody irony is my sister messaged me to bring along a brolly before going out as the skies didn't looked friendly. But she didn't bring hers when I asked if she could share with mum when we alighted from the bus. ¬_¬ The place was full of people as I'd expected and to get away from them, three idiots shared one tiny umbr

After it stopped pouring, we went to the street market. It was crowded of course and I absolutely hated having to squeeze with people when walking through. It was noisy and t
he air was stale as if I was going to pass out anytime. Of course those two females enjoyed it as there was a lot to see. While my mum got some decorations and my sister got ripped off by those Taiwan mua ji thingy, I didn't left there empty handed. I got myself an Argentina replica jersey at half price from OG.

Their Adidas section had stuffs like jerseys and other stuffs at 50% discount. I had always held the strong belief that buying jerseys is really stupid and not worth it. I mean $100+ for a piece of clothing? My god, it is just ridiculous! Even if I was a fan of any particular football club or national team, I won't splash cash over merchandise. But not this time. Though I know the upcoming World Cup means new jerseys would be introduced and neither am I a fan of any clubs, I thought it was still a steal at $50. But next time I won't be that dumb to visit Chinatown during this period. No way in hell.

Back to the office after submitting the report, I feel a tad tired after staying up for the largely boring and disappointing big match the previous night. But there's still work to do when I got to get rid of the restore database error that's been unsolved for weeks now ever since my colleague discovered it. She suggested me to try "drop dataase" SQL method to solve it but warned that it might not work and I have to find another tedious method to solve it. When I tried it just now, it really didn't worked like she had predicted. Damn! ARRGH, JUST LET ME OFF FROM PROGRAMMING ALREADY!!111!!! I thought I won't have to do coding anymore but seems that won't be the case.

Then another colleague reminded me I had to do the documentations that was assigned months ago. Bleh, I didn't even remembered until she mentioned. The worst thing was this Friday was the deadline. Shit. This week is really packed. Thursday there's a few hours of time wasting meeting which doesn't concerns me while Friday going to have a company sponsered CNY lunch at the restaurant at East Coast. Whoever said after report can slack a little? How untrue in my case. And oh, not forgetting I have to prepare the viva which would occur days after coming back from the holidays.

Happy Lunar New Year? CNY mood? Hardly at all.

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

What they didn't show you on the telly....

....after the amazing 5-3 comeback win in the FA Cup last week.

I watched the replay that day and it was a cracking match. Reminded me of that night in Istanbul where I stayed on to watch the 2nd half despite them being a hat trick of goals down. I doubt those hardcore Pool fans would had stayed on through the night like me.

Anyway, the highlights of the match was a fine curling shot from the captain himself and also two stunning goals from Xabi Alonso. The second goal he scored was pure WTF and oh I hate this guy. What a lucky bugger.

I'd always like Xabi since I saw him in Spain where he was the captain of the Soceidad team at a young age. In my eyes, he is the best buy Benitez had made so far from his homeland. He's a damn good passer of the ball but what I didn't knew was his cough packed such a force that Mr Liverpool himself slipped. Next time don't stand next to him ok? HAHAHAHA.

Saturday, January 14, 2006

A typical workday...

I only remembered that this would be implemented soon when I happened to check the inbox just now. Oh crap, I actually wanted to take some photos today but I was occupied with the report. There goes the chance of ever using my cam phone in the office again. The email makes it sounds like I work in a top secret company eh? Not really. It's what that is being done that is confidential. But anyway, I doubt anyone inside would be enthusiastic to tell their friend
s what they do at work because honestly it is hardly any exciting. Now I got to find someone with a crap non-camera phone to loan me. I don't trust my expensive phone falling in the hands of my sister. Thankfully, it would be only for a month as the internship is ending pretty soon.

But I actually found some photos in my folder. I think maybe from few months back and t
he irony is that most of them were not taken by me. So before the ban is implemented soon, let's take a walk around the office with ya tour guide.

These are the first two obstacles I see every morning. I dislike the two doors system and the need to enter a password everytime before you are granted access very much. It is troublesome but necessary to prevent unauthorized people from getting in. Like I had said, what's inside is top secret. GRADE A CONFIDENTIAL TOP SECRET 111!! So don't tell anyone after you read this post finish yea? HAHAHAHA

Everyone else in the office has their own cubicle or share one. But my team is special, we have a lab to ourselves. Wow, so good ah I hear you say? I beg to differ. It is a lab where there a
re lots of workstations and bloody noisy servers that get on your nerves at times. And not forgetting the countless number of people from other project teams that walk in and out to fiddle with their servers. So in reality, it is a public place. But really, it is alright when you get used to it.

This is how the lab looks like. There are 6 people in the team excluding my supervisor. You know it is pathetic when half of the team comprises of us interns. Before we arrived in September, it was worst there were only two working on the system. Then they assigned another one to join us. The most surprising thing must be when I heard that my supervisor was the only one working on the whole project before he requested for help. 0_o That was where the last batch of interns before us came in and they also got oursourced help in the form of contract staff.

When I went back to school a few days ago to fix my crappy lappy, I got offended by this comment from Xiufang. (You say Alex copy and paste for you to read the last time I mentioned you. Do it again, man) "Wah, pack lunch for your female colleagues is it? So good ah?" WHAT? Damn it, I where got so kind one? I mean who would be that stupid to walk from Canteen 2 to Canteen 4 just to buy lunch? Oh wait, it did happened. Look at the picture below. These are the female colleagues you are referring to eh?

They are actually my friends from school who are working with me lah. So it proves one thing. I am still a faggot I am not biased leh. Regardless if it's guy, girl, dog or alien I will still help if I could.

Other than us interns, there are 3 adult employees in the team. 2 of them on contract and the last one is a permanent one. I still remembered my friend on the left in the above pictu
re jokingly commented that I was fortunate to be sandwiched in between 2 chiobus everyday. I told him WTF? Where got? Only 1.5 leh. The remaining 0.5 is a witch in disguise who reprimanded me countless times until I got numbed to it. She would always remind me that I should be honoured because I am the first one that made her blood boil. Somehow, I still miss her scoldings. Errr, I am not serious hor. Seriously, I think they treat me as a little brother and in my eyes they will always be good elder sisters. I don't have any and I dislike being the eldest in the family.

It's a small world after all. I realized this line rhymes so true when I started this internship. it's like everyone in the team has a connection with each other. For example: I live in the same town with the colleague on my left. She's just two roads away from my area. Speaking about her, the most amazing thing must be she is the long lost childhood friend of my 3rd colleague whom lost contact and then reconciled when they were assigned to come here to work as contract staff. Freaky stuff. The third connection is the colleague on my right is the senior of my friend in primary school. This just sounds too coincidence.

There are some perks working here. When it gets boring staring at the screen, my friend and I would go to the recreation room to relax. Though there are darts, DVD player, cards and a PS there, we would only usually play some table football. There are 3 such rooms around the office but I had never gone to the others. The only rumour I had heard is one has a foot messager machine. There is also a mini "mama shop" where tibits and other snacks and placed there for sale. This system works like you take what you want and pay the amount in a tin there.

The pantry is pretty awesome. In the first fridge, canned and packet drinks are sold. In the 2nd fridge, there are those free microwavable meals like curry chicken rice, nasi padang, laksa etc etc for those who work OT. One microwave and one oven. Sometimes I buy some popcorn to heat up. Heh heh. But what I still cannot figure out is why are the printer/copier, shredder and the binding machine (in the background) placed in the room?

Let me recall what events had happened ever since I came. Every month or so, there will be some kind of meeting and then they will get those people whose birthday fall on the current month some gift and then cut some cake for everyone. Fridays are where the Sports Hour is scheduled, our team would knock off early and go play badmintion. Half of the office w
ent to Safra Mount Faber to attend talk and then play some silly team buidling games for the whole day. Pre X'mas lunch at Sizzler Suntec paid fully by the company and then went back to the office and slack the rest of the day. Attended my supervisor's wedding at Sentosa. Played football with the guys in the office a few times after work. I would had thought work would be damn boring. It is boring but all those things makes it less painful.

I think I am very fortunate. When I agreed to go out to do IP, I didn't even knew what sort of company I would be working in. I had never even heard of DSTA before. But when I reached here, it exceeded my expectations. I mean it wasn't a small company nor did I had to do the FYP myself as I could still seek help from my experienced colleagues and the people around the office are pretty friendly. Without being biased, I think my company ain't that bad a choice for those who want to work in the industry. But the minimum qualifications is a degree as this is a government linked company. Most of the people around here have more than that actually. Masters, Honours etc etc. But the truth is I do not see myself in this industry. Even if I want to continue on, I am not fit to work here anyway. However, it's been a very good eye opening experience on how the industry operates.

Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Rain Rain Go Away

Dear God,

Could you stop crying anymore? Granted it makes for a cool comfortable sleep at night, this little boy here ain't very happy at your constant display of making everyday like that. I would had thought all this would had stopped when the new year started. But no, a check at the Meteorological site says you would continue to mess with the skies till next week at least.

By right, last week and today at this time I am supposed to be out there kicking a ball around with my kakis but you spoilt it all. I can guess it would be the same thing this weekend which would mean I would not have touched a ball for 2 weeks straight. I am now stuck at home bored like crap and typing this on my bed while looking out the window cursing. It's not only me who's not too excited about this. For the past few weeks, I have been enduring my mum's complaints that the clothes can't be hung out to dry because of you.

Here's hoping you would stop all this nonsense before Chinese New Year comes around. Please?

Yours truly

Friday, January 06, 2006

New Year Resolutions

I have never set resolutions ever. I mean just look at most people, they have a list of what they intend to achieve for the rest of the year but when the next year rolls in, most of the darn time they rarely even get around to fufiling what they had set out to do in the beginning of January. Take for example say, say one day Xiufang swears to cut down on chocolate. *Ahem* It would never materalize.

Most of them say they will do this and that but
what they failed to realize is that action speaks louder than words/thoughts. This time round, the cynic in me would make an exception since this year would be significant. My last few months before going bald. Let me come up with some realistic and feasible ones...*Drum rolls*

1) Save $ when inside

Yes, the pay is pathetic. But I would want to save as much as possible. Main reason is I would want to retake driving again. I guess it will have an effect when you are paying from your own pocket. Because I didn't really gave a crap when I was learning as my dad was the one footing the bill. I was like "Fail fail lor, not my $ mah". This time I would be serious and not screw up again. Really.

2) Be at least half fit before going in

My friends serving now think I stand a good chance being a sargent, officer etc etc. I take them as being joking or something. Truth be told, I don't give a crap about being a high ranked army boy. Glory and Honour and all that bullcrap does not have an effect on me. Didn't they know that SAF stands for Serve and Fuck Off? Being an officer means more years of reservist in the future. But if I am chosen, then so be it. I am not particularly bothered. 2 years is still a tad lengthy to be honest. But one thing for sure is that I do not want to struggle inside. Thus, I got to improve on my pathetic pull ups and my stamina.

3) Gain a little weight

I blame my high metabolism and genes. My parents ain't fat (maybe not my father with that beer belly of his...HAHAHA), my siblings also. No matter how much I eat, I won't gain weight. Sometimes I wonder if my weighting scale has a problem but my weight stays at the same number always. Roughly around 56-57 and my BMI is around 20. Girls would probably envy people like me but I dislike it. I need to break the 60kg barrier.

4) Less moody and negative

Most of the time, I feel that way. In fact, I had been like this since my father despised me when I flunk my Os. I had never really got through it. It probably moulded me into what I am now. Quiet, boring and lacking in confidence. Every morning I look in the mirror, I see a hideous face staring back. Every morning I see ugly Singaporeans that pisses me off. I am not liking what I study. I am worried about my father. I am worried about my future. I am worried about what people think about me. Arrgh, I think I am too bloody paranoid at times.

Most people probably notice that I frown and rarely smile most of the time. It's like PMS every day. Honestly, I can't find a lot of things to get joyful about. I dislike being me and I dislik
e the life I lead. But how come it be? When you hear me crack lame jokes and talk so much cock? Hmm, the lame crapper side of me is just an alter ego perhaps. To get away from the real me. You see, people dislike being with negative people. So all that is just a smokescreen perhaps. It's just like a comedian, when he steps down the stage, do you expect him to tell a joke every other time also? Of course not.

I need to be more positive and see the lighter side of life before I really drown into depression again.

5) Overhaul my wardrobe

From young and until last year, all the clothes I wore were all bought by my mum. It's not a bad thing if her taste is good but more often it's not. She prefers cheap T shirts and casual polo tees. The warerobe is full of them and I dislike 3/4 of it because either the colors are awful or I had overgrown them. I need more variety and better quality ones. I told her that next time she wants to buy clothes for me, I'd go with her. Otherwise, I will now buy them myself. So the lesson here is never let your mother decide what would look good on you.

6) Grow some frigging balls

Everyone tells me to go for it, give it a try. And I only laugh at that and continue to hide inside the tortoise shell. I think this disease is called running away from the truth. If I am that girl, I would be pissed with the bloody wishy washy attitude. My gut feeling is that she roughly knows that I fancy her. But why am I not taking the initiative? Maybe it's because I had never felt desperate to get attached. I never did had a girlfriend so maybe I got used to it. I never did had an urge to be intimate with the opposite sex. Yea right, you must be wondering what a load of rubbish excuses. Everyone have urges.

Seriously, the reason why is a four letter word starting with F(no, not THAT one), F-E-A-R. This small word has crippled me in many ways for many months now. How you say?

-Fear of being not good enough. I am not someone desireable from a girl's point of view. I can understand why. I am neither tall, good looking, filthy rich nor one who know how to sweet talk people. Why would anyone ever take an interest in someone like me?

- Fear of rejection. It would be a hard pill to swallow if I'd asked and got a negative reply. So if I never open my mouth, there will be this false illusion that I am not rejected. Hurray! Yeah, I love to lie to myself.

- Fear of being laughed at. This is the reason why I don't want people to know. But I guess I don't keep it well. After a few friends saw through me, I revealed to a few more and told them to keep it private. If I had told everyone else, they would probably laugh like there's no tommorow. Another reason is if I didn't told them to shut up, they would had told her which would had made it looked like I'm a wuss(which I am anyway) in her eyes.

- Fear of being dumped into "Friends Only" category.

So you see, there's more risks and more chances to get embarassed. Why bother? I'd rather stay at the same place and look from afar.

But after so many months, it gets a little annoying that I keep something inside for so long. Actually I had always thought of ways to ask her out, but in the end, I usually do not execute my plans. But I did tried once before. Kinda lame now that I recalled it. It was like I got two movie vouchers then I called and asked nicely if she would be available to go out with me because I was stressed out from working and the excuse was I'd tried asking two of my other friends(A and B) and they were not free. She said no as I expected as there's a birthday party she had to attend. I was furious because I thought she was cooking up an excuse to brush me off. But I later asked around and realized she was telling the truth.

But what she didn't knew was I asked A to lie to her that I got called A before I called her. Because I figured she would call the friends I had mentioned to confirm. Later, A told me that she indeed called her to enquire if I got ask A out. OMG, I have sixth sense. Of course my friend repeated the lies I instructed to her. My friend was disappointed at my indirect way and wondered why I must be like that. I felt horrible for being dishonest.

This new year, I'm sick of being a coward. No more lies, half hearted attempts and no more hiding behind the curtains. I tired of being paralyzed by this anymore. I don't want to live by with regrets, it's time to face the music and stare fear straight in the eye. Before I lose the opportunity.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

Ushering in the new year...

Not sure why this year my classmate hasn't organized his birthday party, thus the pitiful me just sat at home thinking what to do. As uninteresting as a person I am, sitting my arse down at home watching the telly was the last thing I wanted to do on the last few moments of the year. I just had to get out. I messaged my friend and asked what his plans were. I won't mind anywhere except going to a club/pub or the bloody crowded and messy Orchard where you would find lots of young punks ready to temporarily blind your eyes with those foam spray or be surrounded by groups of foreign workers who are there to molest young girls. It is not an urban legend, I had seen a few instances a few years ago. I just read this and shaked my head.

I saw a glimmer of hope when he gave a positive reply.
But when I was to go out, he said to find him at a Mohammed Sultan pub. Last minute change of plan. Bleh, that bugger. Then my football kaki messaged and questioned if the kickabout was confirmed. Being all ready and nowhere to go now, I asked if I could join him. But since he was with his poly friends who I do not know at all, I figured that would be awkward. Ahhh, screw it. I think of what to do next after I fill my stomach.

So there I was at Burger King 2 hours before the new year, munching on junk food. Everywhere I looked, everyone seemed to be with their loved ones and friends whereas I was alone. I figured since I am already outside, might as well go down somewhere. Sometime later, the bus reached Suntec and it was 1/2 hour away from the next day. Traffic was a killer and many places and roads were closed. I just walked aimlessly without knowing where I was really heading.

Moments later, I climbed up some unknown stairs and there were already lots of kiasu people there aw
aiting the first fireworks. In fact, there were many cars parked beside the Expressway. Most of them were armed with their tripod cameras. I like to watch fireworks. On National Day, I went to Marina Square to catch the fireworks that was being released over at Esplanade. Months later, here I am standing on the Sheares Bridge footpath looking at the whole thing from a different angle. Actually I did not knew this spot at all, I just followed the crowd blindly. It is actually quite a fantastic spot to catch the whole spectacle.

As people around me marveled and screamed their lungs out(as you can hear in the video clip) at the beautiful pyro over their head, I silently watch and wonder how much taxpayers' money was wasted just like that. HAHAHA. Not really, I also got excited but only kept it inside. I'm not one to express such feelings among strangers. At the same time, it felt awful as I was like the only loner watching the aerial display surrounded by people with their family, friends and couples. A sense of deja vu overcame me. I felt like the same way when viewing the fireworks down at Marina Square. How much bett
er it would be if I had someone beside me enjoying the show with me. *Sigh* Anyway, it was over in 10 minutes.

After that, had to quickly get away and beat the crowd to the MRT station. The traffic congestion was worse, cars were honking and people just anyhow walked around as if they owned the roads. The Citylink underground pessage path to the station was jammed pack with people. It was slow moving and it felt like an oven. The air was stale and people were sweating. Just when finally reached the station entrance, the crowd just stopped there. Bloody hell, must be lots of people inside the station.

Waiting was not what I had in mind if I had to get home fast. Thus, I got out of the maddening crowd and get some fresh air outside and search for an alternate route home. Thankfully there were still buses I could take home. The Nightrider or the taxi would had been a tad expensive for a poor intern who just won $100+ from football recently like me. *Ahem* Ahhh well, at least I end the year off with my wallet a little fatter, which is a scant consolation.

The Author

About me

Who am I?
You can call me Jul

What I do?
Full Time Underpaid and Reluctant NSF/Part Time Weekend Footballer

What I think about me?
I don't know what to write here honestly. Kinda weird to describe myself. I don't want to sound full of myself or put myself down too much like I usually hey, if you think I am what you think I am, then I am really what you think I am then...I'm fine either way...

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