Friday, December 30, 2005

Auld Lang Syne 2005...

Since the year is about to come to an end, here's a look back at how it has been for me.

School

It was pretty much less of a drag and I sort of enjoyed it at times. Maybe it's because there ain't much bloody programming modules to worry that much about. In terms of results, the previous two semesters were the ones I did the best so far (2.85 and 3 overall GPA). Sure, not spectacular compared to the top brains in my class, but it's good enough for me. In fact, I got my first A in my 4th sem(so late I know) and then my first AD last semster. For someone who loathes the course with a passion, I thought it was a sizeable achievement. Partly have to thank my classmates for covering my sorry arse for the elusive first A from ECAD.

I would really have to disagree with my cock ex supervisor whom many months ago asked in a sacrastic tone if it was group project that helped me achieve that A . He was suspicious as I had always scraped through my Java modules for the 1st three semesters in a row. I would have this to say - Go screw yourself, old man. I only got B+ for the project. I still had to work hard for the A. Why don't you ask the one who set the exam? The paper was a freebie, so damn easy and no kick. I will remember him for telling straight to my face that I did not stand a chance of doing internship. I'd proved you wrong.

And oh, I still did not get what you meant by "You seem like no life leh" when you said that to me in the lift while I was listening to my iPod. Thank god I'm not in school. Getting supervised by a weirdo would be uneasy.

The previous semester was a breeze. Easy modules for the most part, and the timetable was so slack. What more can a student ask for? And yes, taking PI was the easiest and wisest decision I'd ever made in my poly life. I mean where else can you watch movies, talk cock, write blog and then score an effortless AD? That was a no-brainer. Nobody can dispute or argue with that grade. Maybe it's because I'd always love to write, though I don't use a lot of bombastic words. Maybe it's because I'd always did well in English in school.

Whatever the reasons are, in fact I sort of harboured dreams of getting into Mass Com. But I'm not that smart nor co
ol to make it in, neither in Business. That's why I'm in IT. Honestly, IT is like home of the rejects. I can see that most people probably failed to make it into their first few choices like me and ended up here. Given a choice, I doubt most would want to get in here. Thank goodness, my three years have not been exactly a total waste because I'd got a great bunch of classmates, which brings me to my second point.

Friends

I don't really keep into contact with my primary nor secondary school friends. I don't want to anyway, most of them make me remind of bad memories. A few of my primary school do ask me out at times to meet up for a gathering as I was sorta popular last time in school. After some relentless persuading, I did went once. It was awkward as most of them are just like strangers to me now. I don't hate them, but I just can't feel a connection with them anyway. Thus I vow never to go to any of such events anymore.


Secondary school friends? The situation's better a bit as I do keep into contact with a few. Some live near me and I bumped into a few more last time. I would not mind catching up with them again some time later to see how they are doing now. But the thing is, I do not have their phone numbers. It's more depressing when most of my football kakis are in army now. I do feel a tad lonely at times. Hard to find someone to watch movies, talk or go out with me.

But one thing for sure is I would still want to keep into contact with my current poly friends. Especially most of them from my class. After we graduate, there would be a major significant change in our lives. The guys would go serve army while the fairer sex would probably work/further study. Everyone would become adults with responsibilty. Well, of cours
e it would be great to keep a contact list as next time you can call them up and ask them to buy insurance from you how they're doing. It would just make me feel comforted to know that the people you care about are doing well. I enjoy this feeling, though I don't know why.

Work

9-6, 5 days a week, OT, staring at boring and uninspiring crap while sitting your lazy butt for hours behind the desk. After the day is over, the only thing you want to do is go back to your bed and sleep till the next morning. In summary, you're pratically like a no life loser. I must admit I struggled to come into the reality that my future would be like that. For the first few months, it was a drag waking up and going to the office. Weekends were precious and Monday mornings were the devil.

I knew what was in store for me when I agreed to go out on an internship. Among the three of us interns, I can safely say I am the most atrocious in programming. When assigned my project to do, I simply had no idea how and where to start. Even when I had an idea and knew what to do, the numerious errrors just keeps popping out. I reckon more time was wasted in dealing with errors, surfing the net and looking around to solve the error than me doing the actual coding.


I was easily pissed and put off by it. I was at the end of many scoldings from my irritated colleague as I couldn't grasp what she was trying to tell me and also due to my reluctance to remember what she always told me. I am not pissed at her, in fact I have to thank her instead. Her @&#&@#% made me understood more in what I was doing. I mean she could had left me to deal with my own stuffs, but she was always there to lend a helping hand no matter how busy she was.

Thankfully, we were assigned to a great company(no bias really!). At least we could approach someone to ask for help. Not to forget that the people from other departments aren't stuck up arses and my supervisor/colleagues are great. But still, it doesn't change my view that my future lies in this industry. What I noticed is even if you are a software engineering maybe say specializing in programming, you would still have to multitask and do other stuffs like database, neworking and all that. That means you are being under paid really!

Another thing is if you don't upgrade your skills to keep up with the ever changing technologies, you would risk getting phased out. I can imagine that it's hard to survive in this industy. That's why most people are hired on contract basis. The turnover rate is high. The last reason would be I find office jobs mundane and I'm neither skilled enough. Whatever it is, now I got to do a good job with my report and then try to convience my markers that the stuffs I did over the past few months was superb. Though honestly, the latter would be tough.

Relationships

Nothing much has changed. Months had flew by, it's still the same. Many times, I did prepared what to do but what it comes to real thing, all I do is just sit there and stare quietly like a blockhead and drop the idea. I hate the spineless me.


Saturday, December 24, 2005

In the mood to get married....

This week has been a fairly relaxing one. On Thursday half of the office went to Sizzler for a pre X'mas sponsered lunch and then came back and played some Bingo and then proceed to do next to nothing for the rest of the day. I guess most people are in a festive mood to even do any work. Coming down back from the production site, my colleague got us a log cake. The most amazing quote must be when my friend asked what a log cake was. I was half tempted to answer that it was a cake made of wood. But I guess being the youngest in our team is a fair enough excuse to forgive his ignorance. To end the week off, my supervisor's wedding dinner was on Friday.


Smart Casual was the dress code specified in the invitation. Oh crap, I really didn't fancied wearing formal attire but there was no choice. I had never felt comfortable in them ever since I had it on once on the first day to work. I was going to wear the same long sleeved shirt(I had only one) I wore on the first day. They are right, I look more like a banquet waiter instead.

Right after work, we hitched a ride to get there. Without doubt, the Shangri-La Rasa Sentosa must be the most ulu hotel to get to.
You would have to drive so far in to reach it. I only had faded memories of the location, as I remembered been there once with my secondary school friends to play sports at Siloso Beach and then went to the hotel to wash up. It has been a long while since I ever stepped on Palau Blakang Mati. I can only say it indeed has changed a quite a lot. I could spot some renovations at the front of the entrance, the buses ain't the same ones anymore and no more monorail huh?


What about the hongbao for the newly weds? Holding a bash at that place surely ain't cheap. I guess $80-$100 would be the standard market rate to place inside. Even before my supervisor handed the invitations, I reckon he would had understood that 3 of us interns aren't really working nor is it likely that we can give that much with our miserable pay. So, the idea was to combine it to $99 as it sounds auspicious. 2 of my working colleagues said it was a custom to scribble down your name on the red packet so that they would know who gave how much. But who would want to write when we only gave that little? It's better to leave it anonymous and who was given the holy task of passing over the combined hongbao to him? Me of course. The other 2 of my friends don't have the testicular fortitude to do even such a simple thing.


A table can sit 10 people but ours had an empty seat. 3 ex interns before us + 6 of us current employees. A postcard on the table gave away a very clear sign that there won't be any shark fin served later. The substitute dish looked like the real thing and no, that isn't blood but vinegar. Actually, the food served was alright, nothing to shout about. I still felt my stomach rumbling after the whole thing ended. That is probabaly what a wedding dinner is, eat for fun only but won't ever make you full.


I had never really liked my mug taken ever since many years ago. The reasons are fairly simple. One being I'm not photogenic and another would be no matter which angle you snap me, I would still look so damn tanned. But too bad, I am not an expert in Photoshop, or else I would be like the notorious her and do some changes to it. Since they insist on taking one for memorance sake, I just had to play along. Not that I'm very eager about it.

The highlight of the night must be when the couple was up on stage to gave a speech to the crowd. The things the groom said was a little weird but heart felt. Something along the lines of "I want to thank her parents for accepting me" and "Merry X'mas and Happy New Year to everyone".

I was like "HUH? What is he talking about?". Nontheless, it bought some laughter from the crowd. I would had never expect my supervisor to say such stuffs but I think even the most brave people will inevitably get a tad nervous and emotional on the biggest night in their life. He probably just said what was on his mind without really thinking that much. Heh heh. I envy him, going to Turkey for honeymoon while I'm stuck here. I also have this urge to get the hell out of this boring island and see the world before I am conscripted. Maybe after I graduate.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Idiots who deserve a big spanking from Santa


Idiots. They are all around you. But you won't know they exist until they open their mouth or do something annoying. Some of them really makes you want to bash them up or test your level of patience. Everyday I might have the misfortune to meet some of them.

1) Smokers in Lifts

Some people think it's perfectly alright to step into the lift holding their fags. I give them a glare and they don't get the hint. Usually I would cover my nose to give them another very clear signal but most don't give a shit. I have nothing against smokers really, but not those inconsiderate ones. I mean they can smoke all they want and go to hell earlier but why should they force us non smokers to breathe in THEIR second hand smoke? And worst still, in an enclosed space? Most of the time, I really want to tell them to put out their lights, but I never had done it before, for fear that I might not make it to my floor alive.

2) Bus Drivers who drive like women

There’s a direct bus for me to take to work or I could also take the MRT and then walk and walk for 10 mins. Of course the train would be a faster option. But considering the fact that the trains are always crammed in the mornings, and also the sleepyhead in me have to walk that far and because I have to take a feeder bus to the interchange, it’s a no brainer that the bus pass would be more worth it.

I really pray that I do not get anyone like that behind the wheel. These drivers just take their own sweet time and move at a snail pace along the road that I reckon I can cycle faster than them. They are just like most women, so cautious and scared of this and that. Sheesh.


The worst cases was when taking the bus down to school. This bus service travels along the PIE for most of the journey and I always usually would got on one which just travel real slowly along the expressway, hogging the right lane as if it's their grandfather's road. Even if the traffic is clear in front of them, they still do not accelerate a little. Mr Bus Driver, you might not be in a hurry but spare a thought for your passengers, who are rushing to work/school on time. We aren't telling you to speed and risk our lives but it would be appreciated if you bring it up to an acceptable speed. So come on, step on the damn accelerator and stop pissing your passengers off.

3) People with no legs on the bus

Every morning/evening it's like a race to get on the public transport with the working crowd. Most of them are lean mean machines with years of experience under their belt whereas I'm still a newbie in this. They shove you, get into the best positions and do whatever it takes to board the bus. Where I live, there's only one feeder service that gets to the interchange and it's always bloody crowded when it reaches my stop.

As I am usually someone who reaches work on time or minutes late, I calculate carefully the time needed to get to work. Thus if I miss one bus and do not get to the interchange before the second bus I have to take which is scheduled to leave at the same time, I would be more late, which would not please my supervisor of course.

Even though you could see that there are still some space at the back of the bus, some people just stand like a statue at their original position and deny those wanting to board, a chance of a place on the bus. Even when the driver shout to the back to move, sometimes those arses just refuse to do so. Bloody hell.

4) Bus Drivers stopping at every stop

Yes, yet another concerning buses. There are some drivers who would pause at every stop regardless if there are anybody boarding or alighting. They deem it compulsory to turn into every stop, even if there are no passengers to pick up. I honestly don't get it. I can only think that they have the awareness and special ability to see something that us normal people don't?


5) People who can't read signs on the MRT

Continuing with the theme of public transport. Years ago, SMRT introduced this "keep to the left" campaign. It was so that the commuters would move to the that side when riding the escalator and enable those in a rush to have a clear right lane. You would had thought people would had naturally make this a habit and followed that, but no, there are still some who are acting like extras.

I only take the MRT when I overslept or if I reach the interchange quiet late. Thus that means that I am running late for work. Most people do keep to the left but there are ALWAYS some who still cluelessly stand to their right. And when you are behind those people, you would had half expect them to know that you want to overtake them but no, they still do not move. Sometimes I just have no choice but have let out a loud "EXCUSE ME" which then they would realize there is indeed someone who is behind. Sheesh.


The big irony is many of such signs can be found plastered all over the station but it still ain't enough to educate some people in basic courtesy. I guess next time I'd rather use the stairs instead.

6) Neighbours with Killer Litter

If you thought the neighbours staying above you dripping their wet laundry on your clothes is irritating, I can only tell you that is just small case compared to what we have been getting. Actually I do not personally experiencing this first hand as I do not wash my own clothes but sometimes I do help my mum in getting the clothes back in at the evening. My mum had told me that the clothes she hang out to dry had been dirtied by hot water, curry and Maggie Mee before. I am serious. On one occasion, I seen some colored liquid being thrown down from above. Unfortunately, she does not have a clue who does it but she narrowed it down to one unit.

Once my mum went to approach that said suspect but that lady just flatly denied and told us to produce some proof. Well, that would be next to impossible. Unless
we install a survillance camera at the windows pointing above to see who that inconsiderate one is. Not only that, sometimes, the kitchen floor near the window is filled with food/sweet wrappers, leaves and some other small trash. It annoys me as my room is near the kitchen and when I step out of my room, sometimes I see the mess. I am led to believe it's the same moron doing all these. I really wonder does he/she have a rubbish bin at home?

7) Neighbours with annoying kids

Neighbours with kids are honestly a pain in the arse. The ones here run up and down the laughing while playing block catching, pee outside your corridor, steal the clothes you hang outside to dry etc etc. Where are their parents while they were running riot? I honestly have no clue, maybe they are screwing around in their bedroom trying hard to add more brats to annoy me in the future. All these are one off incidents so it's alright.


But what I can't stomach is this neighbour of mine leaving directly below us. They have two kids who shout vuglarities at each other, slam the door loud, argue and fight with each other every other afternoon. It's like nobody at home gives a damn. Well of course, when their mother is out at work. Once I went down with my mum to confront and tell her nicely to keep the noise down and control those monkeys. children of hers. But it seems like that lady is a little mental unstable or something and thinks that we are threatening them. She just rudely told us that it isn't any of our business that her kids are out of control and then slammed the door in our face. Like children, like mother. Sheesh. Sometimes I also spout some dirty words towards them when the crazy kiddos are shouting. For the hack of it.


Monday, December 12, 2005

Work, Watch and Listen

Work

For the past two weeks or so, been doing the same portion of this particular part of my project. Involving backing up, deleting database data and creating folder/files, error checking and all the nonsense, it sounds simple in theory and I thought it wouldn't take too lon
g but boy, was I wrong. It really made me pissed off somewhat because I encountered a lot of errors and it didn't worked like I wanted it to. But the more time I spent in it getting it to work right, the more I understood what all the lines and lines of code meant. In fact, I think I am more familiar with that portion than any other part I had done before this.

I really could not see what other way there was to get it work perfectly. Thus, last week I came up with a lame way which somehow solved the bothersome error and showed my colleague. She didn't approved of it and told me to find another way to get around that error. I felt pretty demoralized. Well, you do get a little sick with facing the same ol' crap for weeks. Oh well, I figured I had to spent more time on it. But today we asked my supervisor and he said the only way to deal with that problem was actually what I had done. The lame way! Fah, I was right after all.

He also told me I need not do the last part of my module as it w
asn't necessary. That was like the best piece of news ever since I came here because that part would be more pain in the arse than this. All along I had questioned the need for that as it was just something to make my module look more fanciful and wasn't really compulsory to the user. Damn, I could finally see the light at the end of the dark tunnel. I think I am about 95% done with my project if I need not do that part. :)


Now the little problem was I couldn't really remembered how I accomplished writing the code for the lame method. Could only recalled bits and pieces of it. Just now when I coded it back to test, there were errors. Arrgh. So the lesson here for anyone of you is to BACKUP REGULARLY. You never know when you would need it sometime later perhaps.

Watch

Today I knocked off on time to go catch a movie, which I rarely do at all these months. I haven't watched a movie since last month or so. I actually arrived at the shopping centre 1/2 hour early. For someone who is exactly or somewhat a little late when getting into the cinema, I surprise myself at times. My regular movie kaki must had been pleasantly pleased that we need not fumble our way in the dark to get to our seats this time.


I had watched the first part before(also with him and another friend) which was an awesome and gruesome indy movie shot on a low budget. Blood, gore and more blood with a surprising twist at the end of the film made it the sleeper of last year. Thus I HAD to watch Part 2 of course even though the director wasn't the same and they now had a bigger budget and shot in Hollywood.

Let's just say there's still a twist at the end but overall I thought the show wasn't as great as compared to the first. Rated NC16 and with a few cuts. Bloody hell. Not recommened for those who are squeamish but perfect to watch with girls just because it's worth it to hear them SCREAM out loud and feel sick in the stomach over the violence. ;)


Listen

Someone with an age like mine should be rightfully in army and serving the nation. I think I'm considered sort of old compared to the usual recruit. Guess I can do nothing about it and wait for my turn to go in and waste time. Being the odd one out among my football kakis, I hear a lot of stories from them every weekend. They whine, debate and recall their experiences out at Tekong. I would also ask them some questions so I would be somewhat mentally prepared for my turn. Pretty soon enough.

My companion for the evening just talked freely about his experience during dinner. I had learnt that he gone from 0 to 7 pull ups currently, thought that BMT was the best time of his army life despite being tired due to the tough training, POPed, wanted to sign on, 24K route match, field camp etc etc. After the movie, he kept on speaking about what went on with his company. If he is to be believed, Scorpion(his) is the most welfare(not that tough) company while Mohawk is the most siong one. He also confirmed my doubts that Sispec ain't as cool as I thought to be. Basically you're in the middle of the food chain. Having to take orders from someone above and then passing them on to your men. Kinda hard to please both sides of the fence. He said if you want, either aim for the best (officer) or just be average(men).



If someone like him, who hated NS before he went it and isn't that fit can endure BMT, I think someone like me with a reluctant attitude towards all these would be able to conquer it also. I would not expect it to be as relaxing as his, but it's the damn army for goodness sake. The system might be flawed and screwed up at times but almost anyone born here and who has a penis on this small island are going to serve it anyway, like it or not. At least I can thank that it's only 2 years unlike a few of my JC friends who served 2.5 years.

Tick Tock Tick Tock. I can hear them calling me. But I would had really preferred to watch the World Cup before surrendering my head over to be shaved and be a chao recruit. I hope.


Saturday, December 10, 2005

Jingle Bells Jingle Bells Wedding On The Way

Back to office feeling a tad better after the terrible cough plaguing me the whole previous week. Actually this week I felt much better. I felt less frustrated with my work and frowned less than usual. My colleague told me she actually haven't scolded me this week which was surprising because it's not ususual for her to not berate me for being bloody rubbish in apprehending what the program I'm writing is doing. She said maybe it's because after I'm sick, I looks more focused in my work. Well,not really. It was just because I understood what I was doing lately. But still, I reckon I'm awful with programming overall.


Some time before noon or so, my supervisor walked in. I guessed he was here to demand my MC but nope, he was here to spread his joy to his subordinates. I thought most of such invitations were pink in color but his was a bright attention attracting red. My permanent employed colleague sitting on my right asked if it was the first time I'd received such a thing. Of course it was. Normally such invitations would be addressed to my parents and they would drag my arse there to attend even though I usually have no clue who the couple are. I agree just for the sake of going there to eat, drink and be merry. But this time it was different.

Sort of heard that my supervisor would get hitched months ago as he mentioned they would go to Turkey for their honeymoon. Actually all these nearly didn't materialized due to the demise of his future father in law. But thankfully, it was alright for him to get married. 33 and married. Sound
fine for a masters graduate working as a project manager for a while now. For me, I think 35 is the ripe age for a guy to settle down. But ultimately, it depends on how far you are in your career. If you're successful and saved quite a bit of moolah, you can afford to settle down earlier definitely.

I think he planned it very nicely. Just before X'mas, a great location and on a Friday somemore. That means right after work rush down to attend. But I'm not so sure how much to pack in the hongbao to give them. I'm thinking $40 would be alright but kinda like cheapskate and don't give face to my supervisor who have been treating us interns pretty well honestly. Furthermore, I doubt it's cheap to hold a wedding at that hotel. But I don't want to give too much as I gotta buy some stuffs after I get my pay. My colleague suggested we interns combine a hongbao and pass it to them.


The only gripe I have is I can't shower before going. Ah crap. Have to wear the same clothes to work and then to the wedding.

Sunday, December 04, 2005

Audio Therapy of the Week #12

If you had watched the movie Closer, you would probably had heard a couple of th songs in it. I haven't seen the movie but I did chanced upon the "Blower's Daughter". At first I thought the title sounded suggestive. BLOW? But it actually refers to the daughter of the singer's clarinet teacher. It was an enchanting and heart rending little song that made me felt a little touched inside. So I went to find out more about the singer behind it.


His name is Damien Rice. An Irish fellow whom used to be the lead singer of a rock band but quit because he didn't liked the direction their band was going. After that, he followed to a quiet place in Italy where he learnt to play acoustic guitar and also to sharpen his songwriting skills. He went around Europe busking peniless before he moved back home with many ideas and the eagerness to translate them into an album.

He went around borrowing $ to record a demo and send it to a renowned producer and luckily for him, the producer liked what he hear. Thus, he could now make a record. The end result of that was "O", released in 2002. All the songs in it were written by him. And in some of them, a voice of a woman can be heard signing also. His band is made up of 5 people. He shares the vocal duties with that woman, while the remaining ones deal with instruments.

Track 3,4,6 and 7 would be my favourites off it.


DOWNLOAD ALBUM

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Sick and tired of bloody programming...

Literally and figuratively speaking. Last Friday started with a mild cough and now it just gets worst. The feeling's like if I try hard enough, my lungs would get coughed out anytime now seriously. Whenever I try to smile, I would let out a loud cough first. Seems like the daily two spoonful of pi pa gao ain't doing wonders. Puked out my dinner when I coughed just now. That was damn shiok as I feel slightly better now. But still the coughing won't stop and everyone at home can't stand it. Looks likely I will be visiting the doc tomorrow and be more behind in my work. Hurray!


Unlike the typical FYP attachment where you can bring your project home, mine can only be done at the workplace. This is positive and negative. Positive because you don't have to see those damn lines and lines of nonsense at home. Negative because for someone like me who is awful in programming, I won't mind spending my own sweet time at home after work/weekends and try to find some solutions and catch up on lost time. But I can't.

To be truthful, when I realized what I was going to do. I sort of r
egretted going out. But well, staying at school won't be any different anyway as I don't think I would do as much as what I am doing now. One of the reasons why I wanted to go out was to see if the IT industry I had in mind was real. It pretty much matches what I thought but working at a government linked company is at least slightly better. If I was good in it, public sector would be the way to go. Doing VB and other stuffs wasn't what I had in mind honestly as I only have some knowledge of VB.net. I would had preferred doing something like my friend's who run around the island fixing up systems etc etc. No programming at all. Actually, I chose that before this. But dropped out after finding that have to work 6 days week and lots of programming. Bleh, kinda ironic now I think of it. I remembered my supervisor said it's good to do something you are weak and really hate in because you would be forced to conquer your fear in it and like it a little better.

But that is definitely not true in my case. I still HATE it and do badly at programming and have no enthusiasm nor motivation in doing them. In short, programming just makes me sleepy and bored. Every morning when I wake up, it's a drag (actually for the past 2.5 years, it has been like that) because no matter how I tell myself to be positive and look forward to do what I dislike when I wake up, my mood just drops back in the afternoons b
ecause most of the time, I have no clue what those lines mean and what am I supposed to type, even after looking at code syntax and getting some hints. I'm just like a lost sheep whereas the others just seem to know what they are doing and kind of enjoy it. To me, I just have this painful and helplessness feeling inside. But oh well, two months had already gone and I'm still here struggling.


While the other 2 of my colleagues have pretty much finished their part, I am only about 90+% done. The system is about to be deployed for use soon and I really do not think that I can finish the last part dealing with zipping and unzipping files, which is the most pain in the arse task. And oh, I still have to do those tedious documentation after that. I just have this feeling that I'm so near yet so far. It's like I'm in a fog and can't see the finishing line, One of my colleague is like so free. Well, maybe the thing he was assigned to do after he came back from a month of net surfing at the other department, was easy or he pick up things fast. I think it's a combination of both. He and the other colleague of mine is doing the same part whereas I'm doing a completely different one.

The only saving grace about this as compared to what my friends had gone through is we here actually have some help available. There's 2 contract based and 1 permenant female colleagues doing the same system with us. The programming idiot in me usually seek help from the one sitting beside. Most of the time, she would be frustrated when I ask her to explain it a few more times before I get it. I am very slow with all these thus anyone teaching me would have to be patient. I don't blame them for being pissed at times because I admit that I am, and will NEVER be good in it. Even after 3 sems of Java crap, I scored the same rubbish grade to scrape through. So that says a lot about my ability. I don't like to ask or bother people actually. It makes me look stupid but when it comes to programming, I really have no choice but to open my mouth. But I really hate it when she says that I am sleeping or still haven't woke up. Though I might look uninterested and speak in a monotonous tone when asking, I am listening hard inside and trying to digest and understand what was being said by you. You can't fault me for looking bored. Try as I might, lines and lines of code hardly can get me in an excited mode.


If I said I don't worry or think about my project, that would an outright lie. I don't really care how I complete this shit, as long as I finish it and get it out of my mind, that's all I want. I don't even mind a D grade in the end, I won't be going a local nor foreign uni anyway with that mediocre GPA of mine. I do want to further my studies but not in IT, a hat trick years is more than enough already. For me, as long as I just graduate and bugger off and waste 2 more years to the government and not do anything with IT when I come out of course.

I'm praying for a white X'mas and to finish all those bollocks before that day comes of course. Who knows maybe I won't get to see last till that day in office. I might already had got sacked for not finishing what I was required to do. Hurray!

The Author

About me

Who am I?
You can call me Jul

What I do?
Full Time Underpaid and Reluctant NSF/Part Time Weekend Footballer

What I think about me?
I don't know what to write here honestly. Kinda weird to describe myself. I don't want to sound full of myself or put myself down too much like I usually do...so hey, if you think I am what you think I am, then I am really what you think I am then...I'm fine either way...

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Song of the Moment: Cranberries - Dreams
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