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Everyday's a Friday this week

This week must be the most screwed up week in terms of holidays. Sure, everybody loves not going to school/work for a day but what the hack? 2 holidays sandwiched in between 5 days. That is surreal. Normally I can't wait for Fridays to arrive any sooner as work is so darn uninteresting. But this week it's like everyday is Friday. Normally I have Monday blues, but not this week as Tuesday was a holiday.

Yesterday when I went back to work, it seemed that the office was quieter than usual. Hell, even the traffic was more smooth and free of jams. I guessed some of them took the day off. I wished I also could be like them and laze at home the whole week. But I don't have that privilege. It's just strange to go to work for one day, rest the next, go to work the next day blah blah blah. That is how it is like for this week. In a perfect world, I would had preferred today's holiday to be moved to a Friday on the next few weeks.

Yesterday was significant for the fact that I finally got the guts to do something I had been wanting to do all these months. Maybe it was because of what my colleague said to me last weekend.

A different way to spend a weekend

A Typical Saturday to me...

• Wake up late
• Catch up on the TV shows I had downloaded/watch my taped shows.
• Sleep again in the afternoon
• Watch footie on the telly
• Sleep late

Yes, I spend my time lazing around at home like the boring loser I am. But last Saturday, I actually got out of this cycle for a while. My department organised a cycling outing at ECP. 6 of us plus 4 ex interns before us went out to have fun and get away from looking at lines of lines of codes.

At the end of the session, my colleague (the one I get along with better than the other perm colleagues in my department, the one who helps and teaches the programming idiot in me and incidentally the one who also lives VERY near me) suggested going bowling. The others had left and I was now with the ex-interns whom I do not really knew that well. But my clothes were dirty and I was wearing slippers. That idea wasn't feasible. I suggested going to Settlers and play some board games instead. A few of them had heard before but never really did went there. I showed them my membership card and their eyes lighted up.

Stopping at Marine Parade for lunch, I told my colleague I was going to purchase a new clothing and then went off. 20 minutes later, I came back and I was surprised that they were only beginning to consume their food. Apparently, they went all around the hawker centre to search for me. They thought I was missing. I laughed out loud. My colleague said she didn't remembered me telling her that. So blur. Anyway what are handphones for? They were probably too worried to remember my status is just a call away. ¬_¬

Then some promoter came to introduce some fragrance at a cut throat price. She assumed that we were all students and was surprised when we told her that we were all from NP. She was also from NP, Mass Com. She even thought my colleague was like us, still schooling. She let out a laugh and told her that she have been working for a few years now. I think she must had felt really good inside. Someone thinking that she's still young. At first glance, she does look like the typical poly student. I was pretty surprised when she told me her age on the first day of work. She really don't look like it.

When we reached, I looked around for an empty table but it was all occupied. Imagine coming down all the way from ECP and getting turned away. That would had really sucked. It's always popular on the weekends but thankfully, there was still a spare table. Wasn't the first time I was here of course. It was my footie kakis who introduced me to this place. Been here like 5-6 times with them. I still liked it better than their Holland V branch.

We asked our helper to introduce some games. Never did played the first two before. But I did played before the last card game once. The helper was friendly and all and talking loudly like a bitch but she's pretty nice nontheless. Again, we were asked the same question by a stranger. She assumed that we were all still studying. I told her to guess how old my colleague was. Of course she got fooled by the first impression. My god, I guess she was really feeling damn high that day. Two strangers in an hour thought that she was still a teenager. The helper took the place of the other male in our group to play as he had cramps. Of course she owned us all with her quick reflexes and always grabbing the thing faster than us.

Poo Poo and Words of Wisdom

"I think we take taxi home lah. You want or not? I am running late and want to shit liao. We share"

You should had done your business in their toilets before we came out mah. So funny leh.

"Aiyah. I came out then felt like pang sai mah. So you take bus ah?"

Here like no direct bus to our area leh. I share cab with you lah. But at this time like hard to get a taxi one. Maybe by the time it comes, the sai already come out liao. Hahaha.

"You keep quiet lah. It's not out yet. I can endure to Toa Payoh lah. How come the taxis here all occupied and not free one? Grrrr."

Cos they scared later you poo poo in their taxi mah. Smelly leh. I think we walk further up and try our luck lah.

"You don't say liao lah. Come let us cross the road to the otherside."

We walked to the junction and crossed to the opposite side. There was a couple standing waiting to cross the road. My colleague greeted that guy with a pretty surprised look. Later she said that it was her ex poly classmate whom she had not seen for a while now. We stood at the pavement for quite a while and still we ain't got any luck getting a cab. Thus, she decided to take the train instead. I really feared that she would crap in her pants on the train. Next time she really ought to get some Adult diapers lah. HAHAHAHA.

While we walked to the station, she revealed that she secretly admired him during school days. When we finally reached , we saw them again. What are the odds on that happening really? Throughout the train ride, it was pretty awkward. Both of them tried hard to be friendly and talked while me and that guy's girlfriend just kept quiet. Thank god it was over when we reached Dhoby Ghaut.

She mentioned about what my friend said over lunch that week. We (us 3 interns) were eating with her and one of my them mentioned about all the stuffs that happened to me last sem . In particular, me and that someone. I don't like to talk about that really. She said from my tone that day, she could sense that I liked her and told me I should give it a shot. Bloody hell, she doesn't even seen what's did went on and she knows? Apparently, she had asked that guy we saw twice just now to go steady. But everytime that guy rejected her. It was surprising that she's the type that would make the first move. Oh wait, I have never seen such girls before anyway. She added that she also made the first move on her current stead. Oh wow.

She said she tried asking once every year for 3 year but that guy flatly said no, she gave up and she didn't had regrets. She said I should live life without any regrets. I laughed. As I know I am not as persistent nor brave like her. I could never do the things that she did. I told her to forget it as the circumstances wasn't right. Yes, I do fancy that someone but it doesn't look like anything would come out of it. There I said it. But I don't have any expectations or anything. How can I? When I am outside and she's in school? How Can I? When I am going to be enlisted soon? My chances are next to zero. So I had never hoped for anything.

Balls to Call

Her words lingered in my mind the whole weekend. She was right. I would really let myself down for not trying. You only live once. Last night, I finally decided to do something about this. All my life, I had never called and asked a female out 1on1 before. Because I didn't had the balls to do so. I don't want to keep living with fear anymore. Fear of being laughed at. Fear of sounding stupid. Fear of rejection. To hell with it. I picked up the phone and dialled the numbers. A familiar voice answered, one which I had nearly forgotten.

Asked if she wanted to go out and watch a movie as I wanted to relax from the tedious working life. I cooked up an excuse (a rather weak one) that I'd asked my friends and they wasn't free blah blah blah. Alas, she got to work the next day. On a public holiday? That is weird. Strike 1. I asked what about Saturday then? She claimed it's her pal's birthday, which I thought was last week? Oh well, Strike 2. I'm not sure if she was telling the truth of just giving excuses to brush me off. But I later verified that she wasn't lying. Guessed that I'm unlucky then.

Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous at all when speaking nor did I felt sad after that. Alright, I lied. I felt a little disappointed. So full of hope but being shot down like that hurts a little. But that's about expected. I'm numbed to this feeling of setback already of course, when most of my pathetic little life so far is one sad joke. I didn't felt good lying to her. But if I was direct she would had been surprised. I shouldn't had bothered calling. The outcome was already what I had envisioned in mind and it came true.

So yes, that is why you are reading this now. Because I am at home. In the perfect world, I should be down at Orchard now. Enjoying a movie, having lunch and talking cock with that someone instead of with my usual gay army kakis friends. But no, that only happens in my dreams. And dreams never does come true for me. As usual. Why do I even try the impossible? I wonder at times.

Steven Tyler is right after all. What a great song.

The Author

About me

Who am I?
You can call me Jul

What I do?
Full Time Underpaid and Reluctant NSF/Part Time Weekend Footballer

What I think about me?
I don't know what to write here honestly. Kinda weird to describe myself. I don't want to sound full of myself or put myself down too much like I usually do...so hey, if you think I am what you think I am, then I am really what you think I am then...I'm fine either way...

My profile
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