Sunday, May 28, 2006

Intruder and Idiots

Someone broke into my flat on Friday evening and strangely, it wasn't chased away and in fact my parents was very happy. How come? Well, when I got home after work on Friday afternoon, I immediately rushed to the toilet to do my business. Honestly, nothing beats doing it in the comfort of your home's toilet because sometimes, public toilets are just downright disgusting. Dirty, smelly, floor filled with urine and lack of toilet paper. Arrgh. I would know better because I dread using the toilet at the shopping mall of my workplace. Can't people treat public loos like their ones at home? It would make going to the toilet a more pleasant experience. Anyway, back to the point....


While I was about to finish, I heard a sound. A very LOUD chirping. It was as if there was a bird in the toilet with me. But the thing is, we don't have any pets at all so what was the deal with it? I looked around and found the source of the voice at the corner hiding.


Yes, it's the mynah commonly seen around. My first thought was where did it pop out from and why did it chose to come, of all places, the toilet of my flat? I asked my mum about it and she told me it somehow flew into our flat via the kitchen's window and then straight to the toilet, staying there for hours. My mum also noticed it's parents at the window ledge
chirping and searching for him. My parents did not want to chase it away because they believe it's arrival would bring them luck because it is not everyday you get such a visitor. What pure superstitious rubbish I thought. I mean won't they feel one bit awkward that when they are pissing, there is a pair of eyes staring at your private parts? No?


Strangely, it prefers to hide in a corner and not do anything. When I walked in to offer some clean water and some small chunks of apple on a plate, it backed off away from it. Maybe it is shy. I do not know why the mynah did not want to leave. Are it's wings injured or did it grew to like the toilet so much that it decided to stay for good? I have no answer to that question but it just stayed there throughout the night. When I woke up early for work the next day, I went to checked if it was still there. Yeap. It was, with a lot of free gifts in the form of droppings.


Saturday evening. Ater a long day at work, I just want to get home quickly and take a damn bath. Taking the train on weekends is a bitch as it's just crowded. So I prefer to take the bus even though it might take me a little longer to reach home. But at least I might get a seat.

As I was about to cross the road, I noticed my bus coming but the damn lights were still green. I prayed that the people boarding the bus would delay it a little until the lights turned red. What luck, the lights did in fact turned red and I quickly ran across the road and flagged down the bus. That bloody driver just waved me off with a snotty look on his face. It was not as if the bus was packed. So I just have to say Fuck you Mr Bus Driver.

I just stood there like a fool as the bus left. There was another alternate bus service I could take and within a few minutes, it came. As the crowd filled the bus along the journey, I pressed the bell to drop off at my stop. The people are just like statues. They can hardly move to let me through to the exit even though I already muttered excuse me. I just had to push my way through like what every rude Singaporean is good at.

The best thing is there was an eldery man sitting on the steps of the exit blocking my way. I am serious. If he wasn't as old as my grandfather, I would had kicked him down the steps. I don't blame him though. I can only point a finger at those people who did not give up their seat to him. He would not had sat there if there was one considerate person. As he stood up, I was expecting the doors to open. No it did not. I was already impatient and pressed the bell again. Hello??? Is the driver asleep? I was still standing there with so many people staring at me. It was only when I pressed it for the 3rd time then the doors to my escape from the bus ride from hell was over.
World class transport my foot. To think they are planning to raise the bus fares again.

It is incidents like these that I wished I had a car. Really.


Ohhh...the mynah is gone when I got home after work yesterday. My mum told me it left when she woke up in the morning at 10am. Now she better hope that it does indeed bring her luck for the 4D tonight. Haha.

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Broken free...almost...

It's not a big secret that I dislike my job more and more as each day passes. It's a small miracle that I have been working for 1.5 months now when in fact I really got tired of it and felt like quitting 1 month into it. I mean, why bother to stay on on something you dislike and make yourself unhappy? But still I decided to stay on. The question is why am I unhappy? Mainly because of the long working hours and crappy starting time. There's no fixed salary as the system here is the more hours you work, the more you are paid.

For a miserable hourly pay, they expect us to do almost everything. Like wiping and clearing the tables, serving food, washing the dishes and teabags, throw rubbish, lock the tables, get the stock from the storeroom etc etc. Bloody hell, sometimes I think I'm underpaid. When I told my football kaki in the army about the job I'm holding, he raised his eyebrow and laughed at me. He said I should had asked for a higher pay considering that I've graduated. He used to work in a IT company for a few months drawing quite a respectable sum, though not as much as $1800. *Cough*. His boss quoted him a low pay but he insisted he deserved more as he's a poly grad and guess what? He got what he wanted. But of course, he could had do this because he was enlisted in September last time. Much more time than what I have. I mean who would want to employ someone who can only work for 2 months plus or so? Not many.



The real reasons why I stayed on are because ...

1) During the interview, I said I could be able to commit until the 1st week of June to the boss. So a promise is a promise, I would stick to it. I would had felt really guilty if I quit before that. But weeks after I started working, I realized I shouldn't had said that because I am just bloody tired almost after each working day. That is not what I had in mind. I only w
anted a relaxing and easy job. A typical day for me would require me to wake up at 6am, reach at 7 and then work to 5pm or sometimes till 10pm if I had to cover for someone in the afternoon shift. But when the manager noticed that I wasn't really that keen on working like a dog, they managed to cut my working hours. Last week, they managed to employ a full timer and so I have a considerably lighter schedule now. Mostly just 5 or 6 hours and then I can go home. I like this arrangement better but still it doesn't hide the fact that I won't want to work till June. I need to rest and chill out before enlistment.

I told my manager last Friday that I would be quitting next Wednesday(today). But he said I cannot do that as I had to consult the boss and have to give two weeks advance notice. He then asked me to work till this week ended. I reluctantly agreed, feeling a little upset by that also. Oh come on, I might come somewhat late every morning but you can't deny the fact that so many times I agreed to cover so many other people's shift and work more than I was supposed to without much hesistation. Even when I said Sunday would be my preferred off day because I have to play football, sometimes I still agree to your request to work on that day just because you sound kind of desperate and asked in a begging tone. Where can you find such an idiot accommodating employee like me? Yet a simple request like that and you have to beat around the bush.


2) I had grown to like working with some of my colleagues. Especially those on the night shift. But unfortunately, they always slot me to work in the mornings because they lack people in there. Most of my colleagues are poly students part timers so mornings are out of question to them. Overall, everyone doesn't treat me that bad. Just that when people treat you good, you have this thinking that you had better work harder to deserve that treatment.

I don't like to lie. Never had and never will. When I say something untrue, I would felt horrible and guilty after that. But sometimes, some people just force me to do this. Since my manager told me to consult my boss if I could quit by this week, I had to come up with a credible excuse so as to make it believable. If I told them I wanted to quit because I want to rest for army, they probably won't allowed it because they would surely bring up the promise I made last time that I could work till the first week of June. So I had to lie and tell her I had to visit my sick aunt for a week in Malaysia blah blah blah. I also had to emphasis the point that I was returning back next Friday morning.

I expected her to get the hint that I would be quitting and not coming back ever. But unfortunately no, she didn't got it. She is persistent all right, asking if I could work Friday afternoon or the weekends and till the days before I enlist. My god, she really can't bear to let me go. Sheesh. Being the model employee, of course I agreed to her request and do her one last favour to work 1 more day before I kiss goodbye. Next Saturday would be my final day. I won't miss the place.


Sunday, May 14, 2006

Goofs and Cock ups...

Leaving school probably made me an idiot because I feel kind of retarded. I just realized it these past two days.

1) Normally, I would be awoke by 6+am to go work. On Vesak Day, I woke up at 7+ in the morning. I panicked when I saw the alarm clock and then quickly got my arse off my bed. I was thinking oh no, I overslept again. I was cursing all the way while I was changing. Then I remembered I was given the day off. I went back to my bed and continued back to sleep. Sheesh.

2) Later in the afternoon, met my friend to watch MI3 at the new Cathay Cineplex but as it was raining, we walked to PS. In the end, we ended up watching it at a neighbourhood cinema anyway, after looking at
the horrendous queues at GV PS and Lido. I looked into my wallet ready to pay and then there was not a single note in it. Then I realized I forgot to bring my money along before I left home. It was a tad embarassing when the counter lady stared at me fumbling in my pockets for cash. Bleh. They ought to implement payment by NETS for such situations.


3) I have been wanting to bring my phone to the service centre to fix the annoying sensitive joystick problem I have been experiencing for a few weeks now. I managed to find the warranty card, which was the good thing. But the bad thing is I couldn't find my receipt. This is important because they stated that if you want them to service your phone, you need the original proof of purchase. I think I might had happily threw the receipt away the last time without even knowing. ARRGH!!!! Guess now I have to go back to the shop where I bought the phone and get them to give me their duplicate receipt, if they have it that is.

4) Happened to met my classmates along Orchard. Went for some caffeine and talk cock session with one till the early morning. After that, we took the Nightrider home as I still had to wake up a few hours later for work. I could see that my bus was coming from a distance thus I flagged it down expecting it to stop for me but then I slightly glanced back to the seat to check if I had left anything behind. When I turned back, the bus had already dashed past me and I had to wait for almost 1/2 hour for the next bus. Bloody hell.


5) I only realized I forgot to pay my friend for the mocha I had after I got off from work today. I am not one to take advantage of others or be seen as a cheapskate but that was pretty absent minded of me. Oops.

6) I casually asked for the phone number of Miss TP after I got off from work because I was quitting soon and also my schedule seems like I won't ever be working along side with her nor have the chance to meet her at all. She muttered some digits and then I pressed it down on my phone but I did not saved it. When I got to the toilet to change my stinky work clothes, I accidentally press the cancel button and so the number which I had pressed just now disappeared from the screen. Oh bollocks, what was the number again?? I just somehow repeated the digits in my mind and saved it this time. But I am not exactly sure if it was the same one as she gave me. Damn. I should had went back and asked again.

All these are so silly that I laugh when I think of it. I can't imagine how bad it would be when I get into army.

*As I am finishing up on this post, I felt a strong sense of deja vu as I stared at the telly. It was just like last year in Istanbul all over again. I think older Liverpool fans with a weak heart might not be able to take all this kind of comebacks in the finals in the future. A great game for the neutrals regardless*

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Boring and Predictable

Typical words to describe the elections results. Same old results like last time round. YAWN. Of course everyone knows who would win overall in the end but it would had been better if a few Men-In-White lost. I don't claim to know much about politics nor did I had the time and energy to follow the news due to being half died from work but when you have such an overwhelming of the same party controlling the government, it just doesn't sound or look good.

Simple reason is no one would oppose the increases and all the policies etc etc because when you have 82 out of 84 of your own party's people in the government, of course there is no way the parliament would say no to what they would be introducing. So I guess we would expect more increases and a lot of other crap the next 5 years. Hurray for that! As if the bus fare, ERP, COE and all that isn't high enough already. Like everyone knows, the only thi
ng that increases is the cost of living and not your salary. Noticed they won with an overall 66.6%? Is it a sign of things to come? Regardless, I fear for the future now already.

Sure, I just had the chance to vote for the first time ever but it didn't matter because it was a walkover in my area. But from what I heard from my colleagues and customers all week, they don't really totally agree to what the government is doing. Somehow, they lean to an alternative voice. Singaporeans are weird. I say this because looking at the massive crowds at the opposition rallies, you might had think they would support and vote for them in the end. But the truth is, they would still go for the tried and trusted choice in the end. They fear ch
anges and prefer familiarity but inside they complain about the government. Still in the end, they don't dare to voice out and make a difference by exercising their voting power and giving it to the opposition. Maybe. Except if you're from Potong Pasir and Hougang, who have the balls to stand up against the government and wave away all the upgrading tactics promised to them by the Men-In-White.



I was only interested how the results would come out in Potong Pasir simply because it's just a bridge away and some bus stops away from where I live. I thought that old guy would finally lose out but he won again! And even managed to improve his winning percentage by a little. I could hear cheers and clappings around my block when the results came out on the telly. I clapped a little too because I think he's quite worthy. Hougang area was a foregone conculsion because that Hammer guy is very strong. I already thought no fight lah as even the kopi uncle assured me he sure win. He won by such a big margin, looks like those people at Hougang really likes him. The only surprising result to me was the Aljunied GRC as those Hammer group got quite a huge percentage even though they lost. All week long, those Men-In-White kept on targeting the same guy for so many days just for one silly mistake. Even people would get bored and annoyed by this tactic lor. That's probably why they got many votes as usual maybe?

Anyway, life goes on. We the small and powerless citizens will still continue to get screwed either way. Time to sleep after a long day. Zzzzz.....

Sunday update: *Stupid Men-In-White in lorries whizzed past my area waving and thanking us through their loudspeaker. Early in the morning do this kind of thing, people like me are still sleeping ok? I flashed a middle finger at them from my window. They probably didn't see it. God, what's to brag and make noise about when it's a damn walkover? Sheesh, give me a break*

Friday, May 05, 2006

Work, Whine and Laughs

Working in the morning shift is somewhat tedious because I have to wake up at 6 and reach at 7. Given a choice, I would rather work in the afternoon one but well, since I'm like the replacement for two other FT staff who had left, I am about their only few options I guess. So nowadays I work like 5 or 6 days 10 hours shift straight(sometimes 15 if I have to cover some guy's arse in the afternoon shift), which is what I won't want. I hope they employ one more person (they are in fact but haven't approve work permit) to lessen my workload because I would had rather prefer to work like 4 or 5 days week and oh, some afternoon shift please!

I seriously don't want to carry on like a hardcore workaholic until I enlist. In the perfect world, I had rather work when I feel like and still get enough rest time to do other stuffs at home. But of course, this would never ever happen and I cannot complain about this. I don't really like to work in the morning to be honest as I STILL sleep late and arrive at work feeling tired and listless almost everytime. I am NEVER a morning person and feel slightly grumpy when I do not have enough sleep. They all know how I am like when I am like that and had told me many times to sleep early but the problem is I can't no matter how I tried. It's a bad habit that has been developed since the attachment ended. Thrice already, I overslept and arrived late but amazingly, I have not been given the boot yet. It's probably because they can't find anyone stupid willing enough to wake up for morning shift. I can roughly half guess that the morning shift kitchen people probably don't really like me but have to tolerate with it until they get another person.


Afternoon shift is great because the working hours are shorter and I prefer the kitchen staffs better. Maybe it's because they are less whiny, more friendly and love to joke around. I don't really talk much to most of the people there except for a few here and there because most of the time, I feel a little tired and it's like we don't have any common interests. Still sometimes, they make me laugh intentionally or unintentionally.

1) I get called "Daniel"(another of my colleague) three times by different senior colleagues in the space of a few hours in the morning. I also cannot understand why. Damn, I knew it lo
ng ago I was not their favourite and this confirmed it. :( Except for being male and around the same age, I don't see any resemblance between me and him.

2) Night Shift Auntie HAD NEVER got my name right even though I have worked for like a month now. She calls me Yen, Rodney and a lot of other weird names. I repeated a few times my name but she probably can't remember it. So I just laugh and assure her she can call me whatever she liked. I won't get pissed because she's one of the nicest staff around there.


3) Some idiot got sacked in the stupidest way ever. It was surprising to me as because this Uni student from China had only worked like a few days. Manager told me the customer was sitting down waiting for the food to be served. Then the China dude was all ready to pass him the food when suddenly the customer switched seats. He moved to the next table and this got China dude angry a bit and he muttered "Shit" in front of the customer. It was not directed at the customer but of course, the customer thought otherwise and made a complaint and he was history.

Yes, there are some female staff that are around my age. But I only talk to maybe a handful. The one I talk to the most is Miss TP. It was my first week and I was still a newbie and didn't knew anyone. Then I saw a familiar figure walking in to start the afternoon shift. I was a little surprised because I swore I had seen her before so I asked
her how many days she had worked so far and she said two. Then I remembered where I saw her, she was in front of me when she got interviewed by my boss. So I asked her if she did came down with her friend that day. She confirmed my assumptions and I was glad to know someone finally.

Whenever she report in late for work, I would tease her "Or hor, late again". I would do it everytime and last weekend when she came early, I still said "Or hor". But she retorted back "I am not late leh, I was early". I just replied: "Eh, I know but I only say OR HOR mah, doesn't mean anything. Why so worked up for nothing?". I laughed like an idiot and she made a >_<>

4) After work, we walked to the MRT station. She asked me which poly I studied. I don't like to give obvious answers so I told her to guess.

"One of the polys in Clementi"
"Let's see, my poly TP, Republic in Woodlands, Nangyang I dunno where and..."
"NYP in AMK, Yio Chu Kang lah, wah lau eh"
"Hmmm....oh. I know liao. Then must be Singapore ah?"
"No lah, you almost got it but I'm from SP's good cousin at the other side of Clementi, near Bukit Timah lah"

I thought this was pretty obvious already but what the hell...

"OHHHH!!!! ITE IS IT?"


¬_¬ Nothing more I can say about her.

5)
"What course you study in poly ah?"
"Golf course lor!"

Then I laughed like an idiot. She shot me a "I really buay tahan you" look.

"You huh, very lame leh and laugh very horribly. I don't want to talk with you liao. No meaning at all and made me more tired"
"Like that better what. Then you would sleep easier when you reach home. In fact, you should thank me for that leh"

"Hah Hah. Like real eh so where do you live?"

I thought for a while and acted stupid again...

"Palau Ubin"

I can see her face really like want to whack me already.



"You huh, not funny lor...just say lah."
"Ok, make a guess again. HDB Hub. I give big clue liao"
"Hmmm...HDB Hub ah? Where is it ah? I dunno leh"

¬_¬ I slapped my forehead and gave up.

"I really suspect you are not Singaporean lah, everything also dunno."

It's very ironic that later when I took the train home with a new Chinese colleague and I asked her the same question and she could answer me. A FOREIGNER KNOWS BETTER THAN A LOCAL??? Oh well, Miss TP really is one hopeless blurcock but I love it. Makes it so much easier and funnier to tease and joke around with. :)

Originally before I started work, I wanted to work until the week before I get enlisted. But now, after experiencing so much BS, standing on the feet for more than half of the day, being tired for most of the time and clearing endless leftovers and dirty crap, I think I have had enough. I have decided to stop 2 weeks before enlistment. Partly because of what someone said to me. Well, I went to get my geeky and ugly army glasses after work today. Thursday I worked 14+ hours till closing and then woke up few hours later and worked 10 more hours today.

When the optician lady asked me if I was working tomorrow on Voting Day, I said yes. She was surprised and told me why should I slog so hard especially now when I do not have much time left to enjoy? After sonme thoughts, she is right. I don't really work for the money or whatever. I work just to pass time. Why should I be so accomdating to my employers anyway? So I guess I would have to inform them of my new departure date and also to apply some holidays to watch football. If they don't allow, then I just quit then. Simple as that.

Monday, May 01, 2006

This song has a special meaning to me...



First came across the song on streaming radio last year. I used to hate it whenever they played this as the voice was weird but upon repeated hearings, I grew to love it because it never fails to make me want to stand up and dance like an idiot. That is how a good song should be. I wondered who was behind this song and what a surprise, it's Daniel Bedingfield, THAT guy behind "If You're Not The One". He sounds so different on both songs.

In fact, a couple of times when it randomly played on my iPod when I was on the bus, I just lost myself and moved to the beat in my seat without a care in the world. Those people in their vehicles beside me stared at me when the traffic lights turned red but I wasn't bothered with them. Of course, I only did this when there are not many people on the bus. Since I liked the song that much, I went to find out the history of it and it had a very interesting story indeed.

1) He recorded "Gotta Get Through This" in his bedroom with only a microphone and computer.

2) The inspiration behind the song was a red haired Swiss-American dancer who lived in Leeds, England. Daniel had fallen in love with her, but avoided telling her for two and a half years. He was walking in London's Tower Bridge and he was upset that the distance prevented him from pursuing her. It was this frustration, tension and desperation to see this girl that he wrote the song. He got the girl in the end.

3) He send the demo of the song to a few record companies in London but they didn't liked it. So he decided to make it into a single and send it to three DJs as a last ditch solution. In the end one famous DJ picked it up, included in his album and spread the song to the underground garage scene. The song then somehow ended up Number #1 on the UK music charts in 2oo1. People wondered who the guy w
as behind the song and in the end, he did become a singer when a record company signed him on after this incident. He released his debut album after that and of course the song is included inside. What a fairy tale ending.

And yes Natasha Bedingfield is his sister, if you haven't knew by now.


This part of the lyrics perfectly described what I was trying hard to do for weeks now. Trying to move on from the experience.

If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this
If only I could get through this

God, God, gotta help me get through this

I gotta get through this
I gotta get through this
I gotta make, gotta make it, gotta make it through
Said I'm gonna get through this
I'm gotta get through this
I gotta take, gotta take my mind off you

Give me just a second and I'll be all right
Surely one more moment couldn't break my heart
Give me 'til tomorrow then I'll be okay

Throughout the whole time which I felt really low, I had it on repeat and listened to it everyday for hours till I got sick of it. Nevertheless, this is a great track to groove to in clubs. If this came on, I think I would go crazy and danced myself silly.

Actually I could had stay at home and rot until June but it's not very good in t
he sense that I will do nothing but just keep on thinking and thinking about that matter. People around ask me why I should bothered to work when I only had so little time left to enjoy my civilian life. I tell them the most honest reason is because I am bloody bored waiting for NS at home. That's only half the truth. The real reason is I just had to find a job and work to keep myself busy and not brood too much about the matter. It does somewhat works...until I get home and alone in my room and all the thoughts come back in my mind. Sheeesh.

But as each day passes, I think I can gradually accept the fact that it wasn't meant to be. I had pretty much got over it, but not the person totally though. I am not sure why about the latter but maybe it's because this was the first time I ever took action instead of just keeping quiet inside as I usually do. You would had never bet on me mustering the courage to go up to even talk to someone I might had fancied few years back seriously. Though it didn't worked out in the end, it's quite amazing to me now that I actually tried to do(keyword "tried" but didn't execute in the end) quite a few things for her. Another thing is though I said I didn't cared anymore, that is not really how I felt inside. I still cared about her well being but not to a greater extent as in the past. I always want to know that my friends are doing well and getting on fine.

After many sleepless nights, I figured the problem lies with me and not that "It's not you but me" reason which she gave. She probably just said that to make me felt better. I pretty much knew I am not good enough in many ways and I am not fit to be in a relationship. One thing I found annoying was those friends of mine kept consoling me by saying that I'm a great guy and all that feel good rubbish. People always lie in order to make you feel less hurt. Oh come on, give me a break. The truth is hard to take but look at me, I still manage to somehow came through after a few setbacks in the past. The moral of the whole story is I got to change and improve myself in order to appear desirable. But that would take time.

And oh thank you Mr Bedingfield, I did got through this.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

Hopes and Dreams

The chalet gathering made me realized one thing dearly. That is the carefree days of the past are over. Now it's time to enter into next step of life, adulthood. As I listened in to my classmates discussing about their future plans, I felt somewhat lost in my own thoughts because I have no clue at all. There they are already having an idea what they intend to do and yet I am seriously still undecided. It's just like standing in the middle of a crossroad junction and not knowing which route to take next.


The typical Singaporean education route would be to make it to a university at least. But of course not everyone is like the brilliant top student who is already guranteed a place in any of the top two local unis. I think that going to a uni doesn't necessary mean that one would be successful or earn big bucks in the future but unfortunately this is Singapore, where paper qualifications are highly looked upon. So well, life's like that, people will continue to judge you on a piece of paper like it or not. For the others like us, it's either to enter the army, the workforce or to continue to do private studies. But what next after the two years?

Honestly, I didn't forsee myself in this situation now. What I had thought I would be achieving when I was younger is totally different from what had happened now. Yes, I might had graduated with an expensive piece of toilet paper called the diploma but so did many other people and perhaps they actually had passion and enjoyed what they had learnt or studied, which is what I didn't possess. This might sound laughable but I had actually had ambitions of making it to a JC back then. Maybe it's because I believed too much into a few of my teachers and friends. They kept saying I could make it and it just gave me some false hope that I could really made it despite being just good in a few subjects and what a joke I turned out to be in the end. Sometimes it's better not to believe the hype and the half lies.

I thought hard about what my friend said to me while I was watching him barbecuing the chicken wings. He was more worried about what the future holds for him than anything else. To him, getting a decent job is more important than getting into a relationship. That is pretty true also come to think of it. I worry about that a lot too. I am the eldest in the family and my parents are not getting any younger. Surely, I can't depend on them forever and leech off them when I am 30 right? Even thought they had said many times that they would live with themselves and not bother us when they grow old, I know they are just saying that to test me. There is no way I would abandon my parents when they grow old and sick. After all, it was them who bought me into this world and provided for me. They would be a burden but there's no escaping the fact that it's part of the responsiblity of a child to take care of your parents. I am always afraid I might not be good enough for them in the future.

I had already made a mistake 3 years ago so I should not repeat the same mistake this time. I am going to think hard about the next step in my life.

The Author

About me

Who am I?
You can call me Jul

What I do?
Full Time Underpaid and Reluctant NSF/Part Time Weekend Footballer

What I think about me?
I don't know what to write here honestly. Kinda weird to describe myself. I don't want to sound full of myself or put myself down too much like I usually do...so hey, if you think I am what you think I am, then I am really what you think I am then...I'm fine either way...

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